Innocent Lips

pt. nineteen

♥
3 years ago

Florence

My heart pounds in my chest, hands shaking when I lift it up to knock three times on the wooden door of Hyunjin's room at my parents house.

"Come in!" I hear him shout from inside and I take a deep breath before opening the door, stepping inside.

He's at his desk, playing some game and he turns around in his chair to see who it is. He removes his headphones and gives me a gentle smile. "Hi."

"Hi." I breathlessly reply, hiding my hands behind my back to keep the view of them shaking from him.

"Everything okay?" he asks, noticing my uneasy state.

"Y-yeah... I just wanted to talk if that's okay." I shift on one foot to the other, feeling very uncomfortable but I have to do this.

"Yeah, of course. Give me a minute." he turns back in his chair to turn off his game, get up from his chair and sit on his bed. He pats the empty space next to him. "Sit." he tells me and I hesitantly do.

"What's up?" he asks, turning towards me and placing his legs on his bed, crossing them.

"I um... need to tell you something." I say nervously, fiddling with my hands.

He nods, running a hand through his short brown hair. "Take your time." he encouragingly smiles, sensing my nerves.

I clear my throat before finally coming out with the thing I've had on my mind for a while.

"I like you." I whisper, avoiding his eyes. My heartbeat in my ears being the only noise I hear.

He doesn't reply for a few long seconds and I start to panic. I hesitantly lift my head to gauge his reaction and when I do, my heart sinks.

His eyes are widened slightly, mouth parted. "What?" he whispers and I lower my head again.

"I like you, Hyunjin." I repeat what I just said. "As in like a cru-" I don't get to finish as he interrupts me.

"Yes! I know that!" he suddenly shouts which makes me flinch. He jumps off his bed, walking across the room to start pacing with his hands covering his face.

I don't say anything, not wanting to make anything worse as this reaction isn't the one I was hoping for.

"Why?" he whispers but I don't know if he's asking me a question or if he's asking himself so I stay quiet. "Why... why did you do this?" he raises his voice slightly and I lower my head to my hands, tears forming in my eyes.

"Why do you have to go and mess it all up? Huh? You like ruining things?" his words make me gasp, not knowing why he's being rude when he's usually so nice to me.

"Like ruining your brothers friendships? Is that the reason he only has me?" he asks and I screw my eyes shut, not liking this one bit.

"Why did come in here and tell me this? Did you really think I was going to like you back?" his words are like a stab in the heart and I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

"Huh? Not saying anything because you know I'm right?" he taunts and I shake my head.

"Stop." I whisper, not knowing where my sweet Jinnie has gone.

"Did you really think I was going to ever want you? Want a pathetic, disgusting girl like you?"

"Stop." I say a bit louder, my heart breaking slowly but surely.

"Want a girl who's only my best friends sister to me?"

"Stop!" I scream, not caring if my family hears.

I look up at him to see tears on his cheeks, his chest rising and falling at a fast pace.

"Stop! I told you because I thought I liked you! Thought you were a completely different person!" I shout and he just stares at me.

"Turns out I was wrong." I finish in a quieter voice.

A long silence continues, just us looking at each other. The air hot and heavy which I find difficult to breathe.

"Get out." he whispers.

When I don't move he shouts instead. "Get out!" my whole body flinches and I waste no time in running out of the room, slamming the door as hard as I can behind me.

I try to breathe with quick breaths but nothings working, my heart feels like I'm having a heart attack and I start to panic.

Where did the sweet and kind boy I fell for go?

I run to my room down the hallway, slamming my door and jumping on my bed face first. I grab my pillow, shoving my face into it to hide my sobs.

I hear a delicate knock on my door and I instantly know who it is when they open it. I feel my bed sink next to me and I sit up, hugging my mother so tight that I doubt she can breathe.

"Shh, it's okay my darling. I've got you." she whispers into my hair, stroking my head that is buried in her neck.

"I don't know what I did wrong." I sob into her shirt, definitely wetting it with my tears.

"It's okay, love. Just breathe, I've got you." she whispers, holding me tighter.

What did I do wrong? Is this all my fault?

For the next few hours, I lay in bed refusing to leave my room. I refuse to go down for dinner, not wanting to go near the boy I thought was the most kindest, sweetest and loving boy.

Turns out I was wrong.

Completely wrong.