Young Magic (The hobbit love story)

Chapter 7: Trolls

Salacia POV

I stood with Bofur and Bombur as we served food. "He's been gone a long time." Bilbo said. "Who?" Bofur asked. "Gandalf!" Bilbo said. "He's a wizard, he does as he chooses." Bofur said as he handed Bilbo two bowls. "Here, do us a favor. Take these to the lads." He said. Bilbo looked at me. Bofur smacked Bomburs hand, "stop! You've had enough!" He said. I laughed and followed Bilbo. We walked down to see Kili and Fili staring straight ahead. "What's the matter?" Bilbo asked. "We're supposed to be looking out for the ponies," Kili said. "Only we've encountered a slight problem," Fili added. "We had sixteen..." Kili said. "Now there's fourteen..." Fili said. "Well ain't that wonderful." I said as I looked at the ponies. "Daisy and Bungo are missing." Kili said storming past me. "Well that's not good...shouldn't we tell Thorin?" Bilbo asked. "No!" Fili, Kili and I said. "Uh...no. Let's not worry him. As our official burglar, we thought you might like to look into it." Fili said. I grinned, "yeah! You should look into it." I said backing the brothers up. "Well...uh...it looks like something big uprooted these trees." Bilbo said. "That was our thinking." Kili said. "Something very big...and possibly quite dangerous." Bilbo said. I smirked at his obvious sightings. Suddenly Fili placed a hand around my waist and pointed. "Look...there's a light!" He said. I grinned at him, "and I light means pony thiefs~" I giggled making him smile before we ran towards it, Kili and Bilbo followed behind. As we got closer we could hear loud obnoxious laughter. "Ugh..." I groaned. "What is it?" Bilbo asked. "Trolls." Fili said. We suddenly ducked as one passed, carrying two more ponies. "He's got Myrtle and Minty! I think they're going to eat them, we have to do something!" Bilbo panicked. "Yes," I said. "You should." Fili added. "Mountain trolls are slow and stupid! You could slip right past them with your size!" I said. "Wh-your smaller than me!!!" He argued. Suddenly Fili pulled me back against him, "but she isn't our burglar, you are." He said. "N-no! No!" Bilbo said. "It's perfectly safe! We'll be right behind you!" Kili said. "If you run into trouble, hoot twice like a barn owl, once like a brown owl." Fili said, I giggled. Bilbo looked perplexed, "Twice like a barn owl, twice like a brown--once like a brown? Are you sure this is a good idea?" Bilbo asked. Before he could turn around, Kili and Fili had left...leaving me. "Those buttholes. Come on Bilbo." I said dragging him behind me towards the toll camp.

"Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow." One of them said as we got closer. "Quit yer' griping. These ain't sheep. These is West Nags!" The other snapped. "Oh, I don't like 'orse. I never 'ave. Not enough fat on them." The younger looking one said. "Well, it's better than the leathery old farmer. All skin and bone, he was. I'm still picking bits of him out of me teeth." A large one said. "D-did they eat t-the farmer and his family?!" Bilbo shuttered. "It would appear so." I said. We watched as one of them sneezed into their pot. "Oh that's lovely, a floater that is" he said. I gagged and swallowed the small amount of vomit that just tried to emerge. "Might improve the flavor!" The large one said. "Oh! Well there's more where that came from!" The one said again before begging to snort snot. Before he could the elder one grabbed his nose. "Oh no you don't." He said before throwing the younger one down. "Ow!" The one shrieks. "Sit down." The elder one said. Bilbo and I managed to sneaked around the younger one towards the pin where the ponies where. We tried to untie the rope, I wished I could just use magic...but I always vowed to follow my masters orders. "I hope your gonna gut these nags. I don't like the stinky parts." The young one said. "I said sit down!" The eldest sad as he hit the younger one with a ladle. "I'm hungry! Are we 'avin 'orse tonight or what?!" The middle one said. "Shut yer cakehole. You'll eat what I give ya." The elder one said. "How come 'e's the cook? Everything tastes the same. Everything tastes like chicken." One said. "Except the chicken." The other spoke. "That tastes like fish!" The one said. The elder one huffed. "I'm just saying, a little appreciation would be nice. 'Thank you very much, Bert,' 'Lovely stew, Bert'; how hard is that? Hmm, it just needs a sprinkle of squirrel dung." He said. Huh...so his name is Bert. We watched the young one pick up a mug. Bert glared, "that there's my grog William!!" He yelled. William panicked. "Uh...uh...sorry!" He said. Bilbo and I then noticed as Willium blew his nose that he had a knife in his back. We snuck closer to him. "Oh, that's beautifully balanced that is." Bert said taking the soup. Suddenly Willium stood and began scratching his butt...all the while letting out the most faintest fart. I choked and covered my nose. "I-I signed up for death by dragon, not death by a trolls ass!!!!" I whispered. Bilbo nodded in agreement. "Me guts are grumbling, I've got to snaffle something. Flesh I need, flesh!" Tom yelled. Suddenly William reached back and grabbed Bilbo and I lifting us up...using us as a handkerchief. "Argh!!! Blimey! Bert! Bert! Look what's come out of me 'ooter! They've got arms and legs and everything!!!!!" William yelled. Bilbo and I squirmed. "What is it?" Tom asked looking at us. "I don't know but I don't like the way it's wiggling around!" William said. "So what are ye? An oversized squirrel?" Bert asked as they dropped us to the ground. "I'm uh....a burgl-hobbit!!!!" Bilbo panicked. "I'm a wizard." I deadpinned, utterly pissed. "Can we cook em?" Tom asked. "We can try!!" William said running at us. We ran back only to be scooped up by Bert. "He wouldn't make more than a mouthful, not when he's skinned and boned, and she wouldn't even make half an appetizer. Hardly edible." Bert said. "Excuse me!!!! I'm very edible thank you very much!!!!" I yelled. "Salacia!" Bilbo whisper yelled. Suddenly Tom grabbed me and Bilbo. "Come here, you little... Gotcha! Are there any more of you little fellas 'iding where you shouldn't!!!" They said. "No! You stupid blot head!!!!" I yelled. He shook me harshly. "She's lyin!!!" Bert yelled. "I am not you ugly overgrown goblin!" I yelled. He shook us again. "Would you stop insulting them!!!" Bilbo yelled. "Hold her toes over the fire! Make her squeal!!!" Bert yelled. He lowered me over the fire. I closed my eyes and concentrated on absorbing the fires energy into my body, expelling pain. Suddenly Kili ran out and sliced Williams leg. "DROP EM!" He yelled. Suddenly William three bilbo, but kept a tight hold on me. Before I could think the rest of the company came busting through the woods. I watched as they began hacking, slashing and hammering at the trolls legs. All the while I was being shakes violently. I felt my stomach churn and I resisted throwing up from the motion. "Suddenly I saw Bilbo was being held by each of his limbs. "B-bilb-*gag*" I tried to say but threw up in my mouth. "Bilbo!" Kili said. "No!" Thorin yelled. "Lay down your arms, or we'll rip his off!!" Tom yelled. All the dwarves threw their weapons down. "B-before you do whatever you do to us can I go throw up please?!" I yelled. Bert and William looked at eachOther before William held me over a bush and I threw up. "I hate trolls." I groaned when I finished. They growled and shoved me in a bag before tossing me onto a pile. "Ugh...I'm gonna be sick." I groaned. "Again?" Kili asked. "D-did you see what I had to deal with?!?" I snapped. "Can't you use magic to get us out of this??" Dori asked. "Yes! Use magic!" Thorin yelled at me. "D-don't yell at me!" I whined back. "Do as I say!" He yelled, he was obviously overtaken by stress. "Oh-okay! One, You tell at me one more time and I'll throw up on you. Two, Gandalf told me I am not to use magic until he returns!" I said. Thorin huffed and rolled his eyes. Suddenly because of my conversation with Thorin distracted me. I looked and saw Bilbo standing, arguing with the trolls. "The secret...is too....skin them first!!!" He yelled. "Wait what?" I asked. "I'll get you! You little-" Gloin yelled. "I won't forget that!!!" Dwalin yelled. "What a load of rubbish! I've eaten plenty with their skins on. Scuff them, I say, boots and all!" Tom yelled. "'e's right! Nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf! Nice and crunchy!" William said as he lifted Bombur over his mouth. "No not that one He's infected!!!!!" Bilbo yelled. "You what?" Tom asked. "Yeah...he's got worms...in his...tubes!" Bilbo said. 'Hobbits...go hobbits...' I said sarcastically in my head. I looked at Fili out of the corner of my eye who was gesturing behind me.

I turned where he was looking and managed to spot Gandalf out of the corner of my eye. I grinned and started forming power in my throat before yelling. "PUT, HIM, DOWN!!" I yelled, a sonic wave erupting from my mouth, shaking the ground. William freaked and threw Bombur back. "Wh-what was that!!?!" Bert yelled shaking. "That was our wizard!" Kili yelled triumphant. "What? That little fairy? These dwarves are taking us for fools!" Bert yelled. "Oh this little "fairy" will shove a tree nine miles up your ass!!!" I yelled. The dwarves all looked at me shocked, most likely at my words. Before I could defend myself Gandalf appeared atop a large Boulder. "THE DAWN WILL TAKE YOU ALL!" He bellowed before ramming his staff on it, cutting it in half allowing sun to flow in, turning the trolls to solid stone. "I believe I told you no magic in my absence." Gandalf yelled. "But you weren't absent when I used it! You where behind a bush!!" I said smiling. He sighed and rolled his eyes. I laughed as we all began untying eachother.