Playing The Risk - Book One in The WSU Series

- Chapter Forty-Five -

"It still smells like her."

Me and the girls are sitting in my mom's kitchen— I decided to come to visit. I haven't been here since Roma bought the house. It's been hard. I always knew losing my mom would be difficult but I thought I'd have another 10 years yet. She was doing good— the treatment was working.

Fuck cancer.

"She was a great cook." Liv smiles, I know this is hard for her too. My mom was a mother figure for Liv after her mom left when she was younger she looked for comfort and my mom gave it to her. "Jen was an amazing baker," Lizzies stood in the doorway looking around the room. "Do you think she's at peace?" I grab onto my mug holding it tightly, if I were stronger it might break from the amount of pressure I'm applying. "She is." Em smiles at me, I've been trying to ignore what happened but I can't.

I miss her.

She was the only family I had.

I know I have the girls and even the boys but they aren't blood, my mom raised me. She was everything to me.

"What's happening with the bakery?" Liv asks while sipping her tea, I shrug, "Romas parents employed new owners." As much as I love my mom and that bakery, I couldn't imagine trying to run it. Sweetest Delights' was my family's life. It was suppose to be mine but with my mom gone, I can't. I don't know what I'm going to do. I always wanted to be a teacher growing up, helping educate others. Now I'm not so sure. I place my mug back onto the table, looking around the kitchen. So many memories. I learned to bake my first cake here, me and my mom used to bake all the time together.

She worked every day, all hours. She didn't work on Saturday nights or Sundays so we'd spend the time baking together. Just spending time together. She is my bestfriend. Was.

Was my bestfriend.

"You still have us," Liv offers a weak smile while Em reaches out to place her hand over mine to show support. "I can't believe Roma bought the house." Lizzie joins us at the table, "buying someone a house. He must really love you." Liv nudges her leg under the table thinking I won't notice. "I love him so much that it hurts." It's true, I knew I had to give him distance— it's his fucking future. I can't afford to mess that up for him despite how I feel. I just didn't think he'd break up with me. The look on his face when I told him to go, made my heart break.

"Why did you break up with him?" Em tightens her grip, "he broke up with me."

I sigh knowing I could have just been honest with him, preventing us from this heartache. "I spoke to Coach before I met up with him last week." The girls all lean in to pay closer attention, "he wanted to talk to me." I explained because I didn't want to talk to him. Nothing against him, I've never heard a bad word about Coach.

The boys worship him.

Well, maybe not Kian.

"He asked how things were going, I told him it was going good," I hold my free hand to my chest to feel my heart beat speeding up. "Long story short he told me that Roma wasn't concentrating as much as he should." Lizzie shakes her head knowing where the stories going. "You were right." I smile at Liv, and a single tear falls down my cheek, "I'm too much of a distraction. You were right." Olivia stretches her hand across the table to grip mine and Ems'. "He said that if I truly cared for Roma, I'd give him space."