The Daddy Club | 5sos au

Get Out

Luke

The door to Karlie and Bella's flat was red. It has the number 3 painted on it because the metal fell off and they couldn't be bothered replacing it so just used some of Karlie's paint instead. It was probably from the paint set I bought her for her 19th birthday that just went past. It annoyed me a lot how everyone was older than me. Even Karlie. When they all turned 18 I was still left behind and couldn't do all the things the wanted to do. I wouldn't have minded as much if Becca was still our friend because she is only a few months older than me. We could've done stuff together, but she's a mum so probably not.

Every single one of my friends either seems to be a mum or dad or something that involves kids and are seemingly handling it fine. I wish I could do that. But I can't. I can't do it. And I have to tell Karlie it. So that's why I'm at her door. All I need to do is knock. So I do.

The door swings open. Karlie has her hair in a messy bun and she looks extremely worn out. Her tank top shows her little bump. The baby bump. My baby is in there. Even looking at it turns my legs to jelly.

When Karlie sees me her eyes widen. She has her phone pressed to her ear and I think for a second she almost dropped it when she saw me.

"Wait, what?" Karlie says to whoever she is talking to. She steps aside from the door to let me in and I do so. I make my way to her living room and take a seat on her couch. Her laptop is lying open and a word document is open on it. Before I get a proper look Karlie closes the laptop and takes it away somewhere. Saying, "What happened?" As she leaves.

I look around the room immediately spot the difference. In Karlie and Bella's living room there is a huge book case. The top half is dedicated to Bella and all her science books, her stationary and a picture of her and Michael from about six months ago when they went to London together.

Karlie has the bottom shelves. She has hers filled with art supplies, brushes, paint pallets, and the odd novel randomly placed amongst the art. Ones she will always try and get me to read. Just like Bella has the picture of her and Michael, Karlie once had a picture of me and her. But now all I see is the empty, cracked frame it was once in. That hurt. But I deserved it. It was better that way. It would be easier.

"So you're at your parents house?" Karlie came back through and sat beside me on the couch. She left a large gap between us and tucked her legs under her body. She was still on the phone. I felt a little neglected.

"And they what?" Karlie gasped. "They can't do that!" She groaned and I got the sense something bad was happening. "What did - are they? Is he?" Karlie's voice level raises. "Okay, okay," Karlie says gently. "Listen, try and sleep, no listen, maybe they'll be better in the morning. If not call me again and I'll come get you, okay?" Then Karlie laughs. "Yes, I will bring him." She suddenly stops laughing, probably remembering I'm there. "See you tomorrow." Karlie says and hangs up.

"Hi." I finally say after a long amount of silence.

"That was Bella." Karlie grabs a mug of something from the table.

"Oh, right." I nod. "Is she okay?"

"She told her parents about the baby." Karlie tells me.

"Oh, did it not go well?" I ask dumbly. I know it was dumb just by the way Karlie looks at me so I just nod.

Then we go silent again.

"What did your mum say?" I suddenly think of asking.

"About me having a baby at the age of nineteen?" Karlie raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah." I feel my mouth dry out.

Karlie shrugged. "She was disappointed in me. I had made her mistake, she blamed herself." Karlie's mum has Karlie when she was about our age, maybe a little younger. Karlie doesn't know her dad. He wasn't in her life. She never even knew his name, or what he looked like. Her mum got rid of all the pictures of him before Karlie was born.

Oh.

"She said as long as whatever I was doing was what I thought was right." Karlie tells me.

"Right." I nod.

"I thought about an abortion." She suddenly tells me.

"You did?" I turn my whole body is facing her.

"Yeah," Karlie nods. "But I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. Then I thought adoption but then," Karlie takes a deep breath. "I thought about how this was my baby." She places a hand over her stomach. "So what if it was early. It's still my baby and I want it." She chuckles slightly. "I thought you would to." I feel a pang in my chest. "I guess that was pretty stupid of me." She shrugs.

"I'm sorry." I say immediately after she stops speaking.

"For?"

"I can't." I tell her and Karlie just nods at me.

"Fine." She says through gritted teeth. "Fine."

"Karlie, I can't." I tell her again. "I would be a terrible dad. You'd be better off without me. Both of you. I can't help either of you. You know that. I'm not out of uni yet, I'd just fuck everything up."

"Sure." Karlie shrugs. I didn't like that she was acting so casual about it.

Two days I haven't spoke to her. I wish she was like Calum. He screams at me and hits me. I wish she would do one of those things, maybe both. But she won't she just shrugged.

"But Luke," she says. "You can't change your mind."

"What?" I ask.

"When you walk out that door, you don't come back. No matter what you want." Karlie explains to me.

"Oh?" Did I care? I want this. Right? I couldn't do this. This is what would be best. At least I was letting her know.

"I don't want any help from you. Whatsoever." Karlie continues.

"Right." I agree. I don't think this will effect me much. It shouldn't anyway.

"You are gone and that's that. You can't come in and out. You can't show up when it suits you. You never existed." Karlie tells me. "Understand?"

Never existed.

I never thought about that. But that's what I wanted. And Karlie was going to give me that. Just as easy as that. She was willing to make sure I got what I wanted. No tricks.

"Okay?" Karlie holds out her hand to shake.

The girl I love more than anything. The girl who is having my baby. The girl whose life I have completely fucked up is offering me a get out and all have to do is shake her hand.

"Okay."