The Daddy Club | 5sos au

All I Need

Becca

I wipe away the tears under my eyes. The mirror was cracked but I could still see myself well enough. I was lucky that the mirror got the punch and I didn't. It was last night but looking at the mirror brought me to tears. It reminded me of Jamie's face, the anger in his eyes and the harsh words coming out of his mouth. How can a fight that seemed so small in the beginning escalate to a broken mirror and a bruised wrist. I just wanted to know if he was coming with me to Bella and Michael's party on Saturday. He just got so defensive. He started it by saying he was surprised I even asked him, accusing me of 'hiding' him away from all my old friends from high school. I never have formally introduced him to the girls. They've met him in passing but I never said who he was or how I knew him. It was a short second gap to work it into conversation but it would seem too random. Bella has suspected, she's always thought I was seeing someone. I just don't think she ever let her mind wander to the idea of us living together.

I felt a little tug at my sweatpants. I look down to see a sleepy headed Talia, looking up at me her dark eyebrows furrowed. She had her blanket in her mouth, sucking on it fiercely. It's something she only did when she didn't feel well or was upset.

"Mama," She says quietly to me. "Mama, mama," Talia began repeating, beginning to tug harder on my sweats. Tears were welling in her eyes now.

"No you don't." I say to her softly, swooping down to scoop her up in my arms. She curls into a ball, her head buried into the crook of my neck.

I was normally so careful when Jamie and I fought. Tally would be out of the way, in her room or not in the house. I didn't even know there was going to be an argument though. I didn't know asking Jamie to the engagement party would cause such a big drama. She was right outside our room. She had followed us from the living room. I guess she knew something was wrong when we started arguing in there. I caught her eye and quickly ran to the room, knowing Jamie would find me and not think Talia would be that interested to follow. It was after Jamie missed my face by a small inch and hit the mirror I heard her sons outside the door. Jamie got stuck in his spot in front of me and I ran, bursting into the hall and rushing Talia to her room. I heard Jamie leave through the front door and fell asleep with Talia hugging into my chest and silent tears falling down my face.

At around one or two Jamie managed to stumble his way back home. He woke me up and I moved into bed with him. I let him tell me he loved me and he was  sorry. I repeated it all back to him. Then we silently fucked so Talia couldn't hear us and wake up. I kept my eyes closed or buried my face into the pillows so I didn't have to look at Jamie as he touched me. I didn't want to have his eyes on me during something that was supposed to be loving and intimate even though it was far from it.

He left this morning for work, quickly kissing my forehead and leaving me to
sleep. I couldn't sleep once I saw him leave and I caught glimpse of the mirror. Normally by that time in the morning Talia would have been through to get either Jamie or I up. She just left us sleeping though. I should have checked on her by now.

"Jamie?" I hear her mumble onto my neck, little sniffles coming from her as she does so.

"Not here." I slowly rub her back, beginning to move away from the mirror. "He's at work."

"Calmum?" Was the next word out of her mouth.

I let out a little sad sigh. "I wish I knew."

Calum hasn't tried to contact me in anyway. I chased him out of Bella, Michael and Luke's apartment and wanted to talk to him. I needed to talk to him. He threw a custody agreement in my face about our daughter and then just left. He can't do that expect me to do nothing. By the time I made it out the building he was gone. I think he ran to wherever he ended up because I still
saw his car parked up on the sidewalk. Bella told me what he did to Karlie and Luke. How he didn't pass on messages between them, lied about one of them to the other. I should've been surprised but I wasn't.