The Daddy Club | 5sos au

Make It Sound So Sweet

Ashton

I want to break something. I want to do something destructive and make myself feel a little better. I should've seen it coming and I should've been smarter. In what world does a loving, caring mother drop of her nine month old baby in the arms of a guy that probably is the father with absolutely no doubt in her mind just so she can get a holiday? I've worked out now that Avery is not a loving, caring mother and Sophie is going to be stuck with me now for the rest of her life.

Sophie isn't going to have mum. She's going to have to rely on one parent for the rest of her life, and that is something that hits a little too close to home for me. I was angry. I was angry because I have my child who will face the same upbringing as me. I will have to go through everything my mum went through. At least I have some memory of my dad. Sophie will have nothing of Avery. Not even a number to call since she disconnected hers. There will be no photographs, nothing of her mum. She needs a mum and I can't give that to her.

I can't even reach Mia. She's avoiding me. She's not telling me something and that was only adding to my anger and frustration. I needed Mia to stop lying to me and finally be 100% honest with me. Somehow she was finding that a difficult task.

There was the whole Karlie and Luke thing, that has somehow turned into the Karlie, Luke and Calum thing. I was majorly pissed at Calum and Karlie. They were both such idiots. I didn't even care about Luke anymore. At least he was maning up and taking responsibility for his child now. Why Calum thought it was up to him whether or not Karlie let Luke do that is beyond me. He really needs to know when he crosses a line. I can't believe he would do that to his best friend. I wasn't friends with them when Calum had a crush on Karlie but I knew it existed. Up until about a year ago I thought it still existed. Turns out I am very right.

The screaming from the room next door makes me put down my phone down. I was checking Mia's facebook, twitter and instagram to find out what she is doing and why she is making me want to pull all my hair out. Not to mention I have been texting Luke every ten minutes asking him if Karlie has called him yet. After I got off the phone with her a little over a while ago I've been dying to know what she said. I hope they both just get over themselves and deal with it. They need to for the sake of their son.

"I'm coming sweetheart!" I call as if Sophie even understands that. I act as if she would know what I was saying to her. She's not even twelve months old yet.

This has all went to shit. It was fun being a dad and doing all the stuff dad's do, but let's be honest here I have no idea what that is. I have had absolutely no role model when it comes to being a dad. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm going to completely screw up Sophie's life.

The screaming increases as I switch on the lamp in Sophie's bedroom that still needs to be finished. My art supplies were still pretty much scattered across the place. I would find an odd paint brush lying about, or an oil paint lying on the floor that I can't let Sophie find because she will probably get really sick if she puts that thing anywhere near her mouth.

"Hey babygirl," I say softly, picking Sophie out off the crib and my presense does nothing to settle her screams, which is really heartbreaking. I have no idea what I am doing, like at all. I am going to so mess her up. "Yeah I know," I bounce her carefully in my arms, rubbing her back to show her as much comfort as I can. "You hate it here, yeah I get it."

She was going to do her voice box in if she doesn't calm down with the screaming. Crying, sure, she can do that, that's only natural but the screaming has to stop. It can't be that bad can it? I wonder if she did this a lot with Avery. I guess I'll never know now, will I? Maybe Luke was right when he mentioned there being something more serious about it rather than just Sophie having a tantrum. He was right, this wasn't normal.