Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel

- 29 - Burn down this fucking world

"Gillian"

Her name echoes in my mind and I looked at Jason with wide eyes but he completely ignores me.

"Sweetheart it's Jason here to see you. Please open the door, my love" I suppose the lady is Gillian's mother from the way she calls out for her. The memories of me and my mother crossed my mind. The door unlocks and Jason steps in front of me blocking the door opening. The lady gives out a small and walked away.

"Jason," she says her voice so soft as if she hasn't spoken to anyone in ages. Jason slightly moves aside and I see her, a beautiful girl almost my age. She has freckles on her olive skin and it cuts off her complexion with her ginger hair. But, I see it when I looked deep into her. Gillian's eyes sagged forming dar circles, a scar across her cheeks and her face faltered just as she sees. Gillian walks inside the darkroom as if she saw a ghost. She was scared. She was scared of the world just like me.

"Gill," Jason says and tried to walk inside to stop her but her screams stops him in his tracks.

"No! Get her out of here!" she yelled and for a moment I feared her but not for long because I know what has built her into this. I slightly push Jason aside and walked into the room. It was dark and the only light coming in was from the corners of her windows which were covered in black paper. the corners of it were torn a bit so there was a single ray of light coming.

"Rhea you shouldn't," Jason says behind me but I never stopped walking into the darkroom.

"Close the door. Please" I tell him and he opens his mouth to argue but he shuts back up and closed the door leaving me and Gillian in complete darkness.

"Gillian" I called out.

"Go away!" she yelled but I heard her sobs.

"I'm going to tell you a story," I tell her.

"There was a girl, she was just fourteen years old. The concept of friendship and having friends she valued so much. she thought friends is what could make you survive through school. So, one night she went to a party and was drugged by a stranger. She tumbled herself finding a bathroom but instead she was pulled into a room where her darkest nightmare took place. Someone touched her, kissed her, strangled her, beat her and... raped her" the words spilt out of my mouth like venom. It was the first time I admitted out loud that I was raped even though she doesn't know that little girl was me. "She woke up in a strangers bed wearing nothing but a hair tie on her wrist and an anklet" Damien's anklet. "She lifted herself from the bed... finally even though she felt like she had fallen from a thousand feet straight onto a rock bottom ground. she saw herself in the mirror. Her body bruised, palm prints on her thigh, her arm and her neck, bite marks on her shoulder and cut on her hip" which I carry to this day. "All she could think was 'what happened to her'"

"You didn't know" Gillian's soft voice echoed and I was relieved that she was actually listening. She should know that she is not alone because that's something I wish I knew. So, I continue, "No she didn't. That morning she walked to her house all by herself. She didn't cry nor did she scream or fear. she was in shock and utter confusion. She went home, locked herself in her room for one whole week. She stared into nothing trying to remember but she couldn't. She didn't know she was finding something that she hoped she never did. Maybe the idea of being raped crossed her mind but it was too much for her little mind to believe. So, she convinced herself she wasn't and tried to look out for other reasons. The day she stepped out of her room and pretended as if nothing happened but it was eating her insides and it was painful. That day she threw on a fake facade just to hear someone who she loves dearly would be leaving and that moment she knew she was so alone."