Chapter 31
Burnham Park
The colors of the sky brought by the setting sun comforts a heart that is going through the avenue of healing.
I guess it's first love that gives us the unforgettable experiences. Kahit nagtapos man ang pag-ibig na iyon at hindi nagtagal, alam mo pa rin sa sarili mo that it is the kind of love that is worth-remembering because you have learned from that 'first'. But then, how can we say that it's indeed first love? When the pain is incomparable right after they left and we see their subtle ways in other people as well. As if there's no room for oblivion. As if we're drowned into that past, into that person - forgetting seems to be a slow but painful death.
Ngayon, gagawin ko naman ang lahat para may maabot ako. At balang-araw..hindi na lang ako nakatanaw sa gusaling iyon. Sa isang taong mahirap abutin.. Sa isang ibon na abot ang mga ulap.
It's over, Christiano.
Hindi ko alam kung paano ako nakauwi ng Baguio. Basta ang alam ko lang, umiiyak na ako sa bus pa lang. I went to my boarding house. Ni hindi ko nagawang sagutin si Nanay Bebs sa mga tanong niya sa akin.
Ibinaon ko na lang ang sarili sa aking kama at dinamdam ang sakit na bumabalot sa akin, both emotionally and physically. Nagising akong walang lakas. Binuksan ko ang bintana at sumalubong sa aking mukha ang malamig na hangin.
Kapag masyado na akong naguguluhan sa mga emosyon ko, natatagpuan ko na lang ang sarili na naglalakad sa Burnham Park, passing by different kind of people admiring the ambiance of the city, embracing the cold and just..looking up at the pine trees. Pero sa gabing iyon, malakas ang ulan at mag-isa lang akong naglalakad sa parkeng iyon. Sumasabay sa magulong damdamin ang marahas na pag-ihip ng hangin.
I didn't mind the cold as I got used to it. Here, the climate of the city comforts the soul. It reminds me of him..
When you get to hold his hand and be enveloped in his arms, you'd realize that wherever you are, as long as you're together, you'll get through it and you'll feel nothing but warmth.
Mas lalong lumalakas ang bugso ng pag-ulan. At ako na lang yata ang nandoon at mag-isang naglalakad. Nang matigilan lang ako nang mapansin ang isang pamilyar na bulto ng tao na nakatayo sa silong ng isang pine tree, nakatanaw sa man-made lake.
Wala man lang dalang payong at basang-basa. My eyes widened and lips parted when my heart recognized him.
Christiano Valencia..
I wanted to curse myself for reacting that way. You should be hating him, cursing him. Pero anong ginagawa mo, Prami?
"Hindi mo ba naiintindihan ang sinabi ko roon sa note?" I asked coldly.
Not even the distance and the rain hindered him to get near me. Pansin ko ang panginginig ng kan'yang buong katawan at kanina pa siguro siya naroon at naghihintay..
"Hindi ako tanga para ganoon na lang kadaling itapon ang lahat ng iyon sa isang kapirasong papel, Celestia. We waited for fucking two years just so we could be together. Fucking two years!"
"Alin ba doon sa mga salitang iyon ang hindi mo maintindihan ha at ipapaintindi ko sa'yo?"
"Fuck. I can't believe this." Napasuklay siya sa kan'yang buhok. "Ganoon na lang 'yon? Why do you have to make decisions by yourself?"
"Matagal na tayong tapos, Christiano. Hindi mo ba maintindihan iyon?!"
His face softened when he noticed the tears rolling down my cheeks.
BINABASA MO ANG
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