Seokjin centric oneshot (jin×bangtan)

Am fine (crystal snow pt2)

(A month ago)

Jin smiled as he hugged each one of them once again. He will be gone for about a month. And it will be really heart ranching one month for jin.  But he has to do it. He took a long breath as he went in his aircraft. Away for one whole month in a different country.

But who knew this month of absence could turn out a lifelong one? He knew what they dont, and that was for the best. They will worry too much which will just harm them.
Though he need to not worry he always worried. That is how he was. Always anxious and troubled by the most littlest thing. He should probably get therapy for it and he had thought about it like a million times now...but it won't be any useful now. Anyways.

He had a shoot every single day. Right from recordings to mv shoot to costume practice and stuff. He had to record his part for a group mv which was filmed at various locations. His part was to be performed at  a foreign destination while other members shoot was performed in their own country near or far from their home. They had suggested jin to film his parts with green screen but he refused saying originality is the key to true beauty. Who's to argue with the wisest member now? And so he left bangtan for a month.

Though he left, he didn't ghosted them up. He called every single day, made sure they were good and that their parts were done. Everyday a random member. He loved doing that. Knowing they were good. His brother had asked him to live with them once he is back. He knew jin will never tell them, so it will be better and easier if he lived with his family. Where he will be safer and in known hands. Jin just liked to care for them....but then he knew he needed to tell them the truth sooner or later. He just never wanted to. But they cared for him. Jin sighed.

He was getting his make up removed. When he called hoseok....the best person to talk to. Few rings and hoseok picks the call up. "Hey," he heard the voice of hoseok. He smiled. "Seok!" He said. "Hyung!" He heard the excited voice. He giggled "how are you hyung! And when are you gonna come?" Hoseok asked. "Gonna be here for a week  or more...." Jin said. He heard a long ohhh from other side. He asked hoseok the general questions of how he is and what are they up to. "Hyung...I gotta goo....so I'll talk to ya later!" Hoseok said. Jin smiled. "K byeee seok...." he said.

Hoseok being the over excited person that he always was although cut the call off, but left it on voice mail. "Namjoon!" Hoseok said. "Hobi..." namjoon said as he kept the packet of Ramen down, "were you on a call?" Namjoon asked. "Yup.,.Jin hyung..." hoseok said, namjoon hummed in a bored manner. "He should not call us....." namjoon said. "Why...." hoseok said chewing the gum namjoon bought. "I mean he worries for nothing. We are well without him too, he don't need to worry for us......" namjoon said. "Yup we can definitely live without him too........" hoseok said.

Voice mail sent.

Back at the hotel jin was staying. Jin came in his room, his hand on his chest. Definitely he was in pain. But he somehow managed to get till his bed, he opened the small supposed to be his skin care bag, as he fished out a bottle of mysterious pills. Taking in one as he took a long sigh of relief. He should probably not sing.....the irony. He thought as he sighed out of relief getting comfortable on his bed.

He got his phone out of his back pocket getting bored. 1 voice mail. Jin frowned. He opened the voice mail. Listening carefully. He was hurt for sure. As tears left his eyes. How can they be soo mean? He cried. As his breaths started to get uneven. No no...calm down jin calm down. He tried to calm himself down. Maybe it's the easier way, without them knowing. Yes, that's it. And that is what he should do. Definitely. He took a long breath. Taking his pen and a paper he always carried around where ever he went. Writing down  folding it down and writing the address of his dorm.

Soon his stay was over. His shoot was done. And the mv will be out in a week or two, although the directors kept complaining how breathless he got with the bare minimum acting and how his voice was sounding off in recording studios or how he just was not able to perform the choreo without almost fainting.

he sighed as he reached his brother's place. "You should take a rest....." his brother said as he kept a jar of water beside him. Jin sighed again nodding. What else can he do anyways? He scooted his butt and laid down. Closing his eyes getting surprised how easily he felt sleepy.

Jin's brother walked out. He took a long breath in. It was just him and his family who knew about jin's problem. Because the first thing jin did last year was to call his older brother crying and saying everything he felt bad about. He somehow managed to calm  his brother down through the phone. And himself checked up on jin. Not wanting to belive whatever was written in the report jin got. There was no other option but to get him the treatment in hopes that it gets better. But as of now, it just seemed to have got worse than better. So the hope was really less too. It's as if jin himself has accepted the fact. But then his brother knew if he was in his place maybe he too would have accepted.

He sighed walking towards the phone ringing. It was jin's phone, namjoon the caller ID read. He picked the call and was met by a frantic namjoon. He tried to sound as normal as possible because jin had warned his brother to not tell the other members anything. Atall. He said he will call jin. He went in and saw Jin sleeping. He gently woke him saying that it was namjoon on the phone. He gave jin his privacy as he left. When he came he was met by Jin crying.

"Jin....don't cry...." his brother came forward hugging him. Trying to calm him down. "I know..." Jin said hiccuping. As he started to get out of breath. "Jin clam down..." his brother said as he patted jin's back slowly trying to calm him down. But it was to no vail as his breaths were just too out of control. And his body trembled and shook with the shock. His hands getting cold. He felt the warm liquid flow down but he can care less as he was too busy crying.  "Jin...Jin listen to me... ok... breath in..." he said as he felt jin do the same. "Good... now breath out...." he said. Jin did it. "Again breath jin." His brother said as he did the same. After 10 minutes he was clam again as he fell asleep in his arms. His brother slowly laid him down.

"Oh jin...you love them soo much. So do they...why don't you just say them? I bet they can help you" He whispered as threaded his hands through his hair, sighing getting up and walking out.

It's been an year. Jin had some troubles with his breathing. So he had been to the doctor. After reports and test. It was confirmed that jin had clotting in his lungs. Which were the culprits of breathing issues. The doctor said him either they can be cured, or they will get worst. So he was put on medication to thin his blood down. But they didn't helped him much either, and his situation was just getting worse and worse.

But yet he held firm to not say anything to his dear members because he didn't wanted them to worry. Nor did he wanted to take a leave from his work and upset his fans or worry them out. So here he was.

As of now he wasn't at his very best self. And he knew nothing will ever help him out and hence he wanted to shoot alone, because his members would have got worried for him otherwise with his condition making him tell his problem.

Well Jin knew what namjoon said was completely sarcastic and he meant in way to ensure jin that he need not worry. But he was getting really emotional these days as well. Probably he won't do a good job at the coming comback but, he will do his best, knowing it can probably be his last too.