subtle|skz

-one-

JiSung's POV

I watch MinHo closely as he scrolls through his phone. His face lights up as he stops scrolling for a second. He glances up at me, but quickly looks back down. I know I should look away, but I can't. I lick my lips nervously and tug at the hem of my shirt. My eyes quickly shift toward the camera before falling onto my feet. It wasn't too obvious—was it? It's so hard to keep myself in check—especially when he looks like that.

His dirty blonde hair should be illegal. His plump taunting lips shouldn't exist. Worst of all—his thick thighs don't belong on a human—only a god. He's gorgeous in every way—mind blowingly gorgeous. I feel eyes on me and I swallow hard. I turn toward the stare and freeze the moment my eyes meet his. He smirks then scoots closer to me. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and leans into me. He laughs brightly as he turns to listen to Chan talk about something.

I don't hear a word that falls from Chan's mouth. Instead, all I can focus on is the feeling of his body presses against mine. My trembling hands still and my anxiety fades. With him next to me, I'm not afraid—well not in the same way. I'm still afraid he'll catch onto something he shouldn't. I'm afraid he'll start to notice my need for him isn't innocent. I need him in so many ways—some of them everyone around me can see—others no one but be should know about.

I hope everyone just sees my need for him to be close as an anxiety thing. I hope they think it's just so I feel a little more secure knowing I'm not alone, but in fact it goes deeper. It's not just my anxiety that craves someone's touch—his touch—it's my entire being. When it comes to him, it's hard going a few seconds without his arms around me.

I tense up as he turns away from the camera and leans in to whisper something to me. He hand rubs at my shoulder as he scoots closer.

"Are you okay? You seem a little anxious. Do you need to step out?" MinHo questions softly before pulling back. He glances towards HyunJin to listen before looking back at me for my response.

I swallow hard, but shake my head. I'm not going anywhere. If I go, he can't come with. He'll stay here. It'll look as if I were just leaving to go to the bathroom or something. If we both go, it'll look suspicious. Of course—the other members would figure it was just to help me calm down, but the fans might try to connect dots that I don't want them connecting. They've already shipped us—I don't want to give them more evidence. The others find the ships amusing. They don't take them seriously, but what if I really do feel that way about him? The fact they play it off as something silly and unrealistic kind of hurts.

"Hannie—can you go grab the sketchbooks?" Chan questions. I lift my head at the sound of my name and panic. I didn't hear anything else but my name. I don't know what he wants from me. I swallow hard and he seems to catch onto my worries.

"The sketchbooks should be on the table over there. Can you grab them, Hannie?" Chan rephrases his question to help me. I nod and hesitantly get to my feet. I slip around the others and out of the view of the camera.

The moment I'm free of the prison in front of the camera, I squat down and take a few shaky breaths. The others glance at me periodically, clearly worried about me. I close my eyes and take one final deep breath before forcing myself up onto my feet and grabbing the sketchbooks like Chan asked for. I hurry back into the camera and hand them to him.

As I make my way back to my seat, I feel arms around my waist. I'm pulled down into someone's lap. I look back in shock to see MinHo holding me tightly. He meets my gaze and smiles sweetly. He quickly shifts his attention to Felix. ChangBin is quick to fill my seat. He's trying to cover it up and make it seem as if MinHo was trying to make room so ChangBin wasn't on the edge of the camera's view.