𝘓𝘢 𝘴𝘶𝘢 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘢 𝘱𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘢.

14.

Her.

A month of imprisonment. 

A goddamned month of nothing, but misery, hurt. My hearts knows nothing, except longing and pain. 

I have no courage to do anything. Monster of a father made sure of that: confiscated all electronic devices; gives me my Mac only for the time of my online learning at Harvard, during which I am supervised by his minions, and once that ends - guards take away Mac. I have no desire or strength to get out of my room, I don't eat, talk or do much moving. I live on peach tea and kiwis only.

My only pieces of tranquility are little memories of a beautiful time my beloved Adriano and I had. Album that him and I made for each other: our pictures with dates and noted down event, cute captions, our funny and precious quotes, little cards and notes that we wrote for each other while being at lectures, exchanging them after schooling hours. Laugher, smiles, hugs, kisses, cuddles, dates, picnics, midnight car rides, stargazing and dances. Our blissful, passionate, tender nights and mornings. I kept all his romantic letters and dried a few flowers from every single bouquet, keeping them in a special little box.

 I never take off his promise ring and swan pedant. His hoodie and 2 T-shirts that I have are my only clothes, I refuse to give them away for the laundry, it is enough of pain that his soothing fragrance is fading away from those fabrics.

"Luna, talk to me, dear. I am worried about you, Arthur misses you."- pleaded mama, coming to the door every morning and evening. 

I put the brush down and approached the door, opening it for the first time in 24 hours. 

"Sweetheart, you are so pale."- almost whispered mama with glossy eyes, cupping my cheek. 

"Will it change anything?"- I said indifferently, knowing that I look like a ghost. 

My 50 kilograms dropped to 48. My once sun-kissed skin is much paler. Dark-circles are now something I am no stranger to. 

I scooped Arthur in my arms and hugged my baby brother, who is now 1 month old. 

"Darling, please, talk to me."- asked pleadingly mama, sitting down on the bed next to me as I laid down, cuddling Arthur, who played with my hand, smiling happily. 

"My words won't change anything, mama. He is a monster and I hate him for doing this."- I said without guilt, recalling how he treats me. 

The first day was hell, I had to do the most disgusting things just because of his paranoia. He dragged me to the hospital to get me checked up for any diseased, which pass on during intercourse, and even arranged pregnancy test for me, having no shame to grin once doctor said that everything is perfectly fine. He didn't bother to hear me out, talk to me, say what makes him act like a brute...He just does what he wants without considering opinion and feelings of others. 

"Il me manque tellement, maman. Tu n'as pas idée à quel point j'ai envie d'être à nouveau à ses côtés, enveloppée dans ses bras avec son beau visage blotti dans mon cou, comme il le faisait toujours."- I whispered brokenly, tears visiting me for the dozenth time today. (I miss him so much, mama. You have no idea how much I want to be back by his side, wrapped in his arms with his handsome face nuzzled in my neck, just like he always used to do.)

"My darling, I wish I could change this, I really do."- assured mama, her own tear steaming down her cheek. 

Mama hugged me and that was all it took for me to shatter utterly, cry my sadness out, tell her about every single bit of my yearning. 

"He sounds like a wonderful boy, sweetheart."- said calmly mama, stroking my back as my head is on her lap, tears silently running down my cheek.