Ducktales: Journey To Agartha - Act 5

Chapter 8: Volleyball Plague

It was 6 am, and what did that mean? Breakfast at the shitty Camp Godgold cafe!

Gyro and Gloria were sleeping in like the pussies they were. But Mark and Ellie? Nah. They went there right away. Only because Mark wanted to gain weight and work on getting abs. Ellie already knew that was never going to happen; his metabolism was too high and he was bound to be a twig forever, but she wouldn't say anything. Being stuck in a happy delusion was better than living a terrible reality.

Ellie had a plate of food herself. She scanned it and had absolutely no idea what it was. Maybe waffles? Or eggs? Those were two very different things and not being able to tell them apart was concerning.

Either way, Kyle didn't seem to mind as he crawled into the plate of food.

"Our son enjoys the food here." Ellie stated. "I have been teaching him an array of American English vocabulary, as well as some advanced calculus. He is quite the fast learner. You should be proud."

Mark had his mouth full of... whatever the hell they were serving. He didn't care. It was gross but he was determined to get a 6 pack before the end of this! "... the cockroach... learned vocabulary?"

Ellie gave him a look. "Not just a 'cockroach', your son. And yes, why is the concept of Kyle learning vocabulary so odd?" She picked up Kyle and placed him in front of Mark's tray. "Go ahead, Kyle. Show father what you learned."

Kyle blinked and Ellie's face lit up.

"See?!"

Mark continued to eat. "He didn't say anything though. But yeah, that's pretty cool I guess." He didn't want to hurt Ellie's feelings but damn.

Ellie crossed her arms and huffed. "Mark, I know our relationship has newly blossomed," That was a really weird way to put it but she wasn't wrong. They haven't even kissed yet and she was going on about children. Duck Jesus. "But you really need to attempt to be a better father. I have been raising Kyle all by myself."

Kyle blinked again.

"Thank you, Kyle."

He sighed "He's just a little bug. I can't teach him to ride a bike or give him time out or whatever. So I don't know what you would want me to do with him." The fact that there was a cockroach so close to his food started to bother him.

"Being an insect is not a disability. I am sure it is easy to build a bike his size. If not, Kyle needs a male figure in his life because he," Ellie lifted him up. "Is also a male. It would be lovely if someone could show him the way to manhood." What the fuck was this conversation? "If not, it would be enough for you to spend time with him. Perhaps watch a movie with him on your cellular device." Kyle crawled out of Ellie's hands and into Mark's food while she was talking. "I also believe showing me you are a wonderful father figure will allow my attraction to you to grow. Then, once we can find a babysitter for Kyle, we will be able to spend more time alone together and bond."

"I think Kyle is old enough to take care of himself for a while. Can we just skip the whole babysitter thing and just hang out alone together already?" Mark really wasn't on board with the whole "being a cockroach's father" in case you couldn't tell.

Ellie thought about that for a moment. "I believe you are correct. Kyle is technically 18 years of age in Floridian cockroach years." She shoved her hand into Mark's food and snatched Kyle up before placing him on the floor. "Be off now Kyle and play with your friends, but avoid being stepped on because that would cause me to be rather upset."

Kyle nodded and scuttled off.

"There. Now what would you like to speak of now that we are alone?"