A Queen Conflicted (Alys Book #3)

Chapter 1

The gravestones protruding from the earth were large pillars of white as Endolynn stood in front of them. A soft coating of snow, untouched and perfect, covered all the surfaces in the area.
Slowly but surely, snow was coming down all around, refusing to give up its grasp as other parts of the kingdom gave way to an early spring.
Endolynn shivered slightly and pulled the fur robes she wore more tightly around herself.
She knew she should not be out in the cold for much longer, but she needed the peace and quiet.

Everything had been a constant whirlwind of activity for the last few weeks at the palace. After Endolynn and her forces had retaken the palace, it had taken a bit to get everything secured and running smoothly again. In all truthfulness, things were not back to normal yet, whatever normal would end up looking like.

Thankfully for Endolynn and her brother, to keep up with the lies Royce had concocted in order to turn Balear against her niece, Royce had made sure that King Caldor had been laid to rest in his rightful place next to his late wife after she murdered him. It brought a small comfort to Endolynn that she had a place where she could visit him.
Footsteps crunched in the snow behind her, but Endolynn stayed where she was.

"You have been out here a long while."
It was Rose who spoke.

Endolynn sighed, feeling a mix of frustration at being treated like she was unable to make decisions for herself and gratefulness that there were those who cared about her enough to pester her.

"I will come in soon."

Her reply was quiet but gentle.

She was reluctant to head back into the palace, where she must be careful of watching eyes and gossiping mouths. When she was outside, she did not have to worry as much about concealing her current condition; the large robes she wore covered up her pregnancy easily. Though she was only at somewhere around four months, she was bigger than she had been the first time. Warrick, her head healer who had moved from the kingdom of Tarkam to care for her, told her it was normal to be smaller for a first pregnancy. Normal as it was, being bigger this time made it harder to keep quiet.
While inside without the protection of her robes, she had to be more creative and secretive.
She hated it.
Should not a princess and soon to be queen be able to live how she wanted in her own home?
But the truth of the matter was that her position in the court was still too new for her to trust that someone would not leak her sensitive information to other parties.

It had only been two months since she had regained High Cloud Palace and her kingdom of Balear. Two months did not allow enough time to form trust with her subjects and loyalty from those in the palace.
The very last thing she needed was for a scandal to rock her position right before her coronation.

Rose had not left. Her hovering, though often a comfort, made Endolynn anxious.

Reluctantly, Endolynn turned from the graves of her family members, turning to face her friend.
"You can tell my brother that I survived one previous pregnancy without him scrutinizing my every move, and this one need not be different."

A hint of a flush colored Rose's cheeks as she passed her, and she ducked her head a little bit.
"He is just protective because there is no one else to fuss over you," Rose replied, coming to the defense of the young prince and her betrothed.

Endolynn swallowed the pain away that came with the mention of her lack of support. The snow crunched beneath her feet as she walked towards the palace.
Was not her brother and a few close friends enough?

She swallowed her frustration; Rose was only trying to help. She also knew that Zaiden was likely waiting for her to start the meeting with the advisers that she had appointed.
Endolynn entered the palace and turned to Rose, pausing briefly, "I need to retrieve some things from my study. You can tell Zaiden I will be there shortly."
Rose nodded silently as Endolynn moved away.
What was now her own study used to be her father's. It felt weird that it had changed to her hands when she was so used to seeing her father behind the large desk at the far end of the room.
Endolynn pushed against the large oak door and let herself in. She had redecorated in order to make the space seem more hers, but it still felt haunted.
Grabbing the small stack of documents and notes that she had left on her desk, she quickly looked around to make sure that she was not forgetting anything.
Seeing nothing that triggered her memory, she left.
It was difficult to spend any significant lengths of time in any area that strongly reminded her of the father she had lost too soon. Unfortunately, that was most of the palace.