Love In A Cruel World

Chapter 17

"Have you eaten?"

"Yeah, don't mind me," I plainly replied to the man sitting beside me.

"What's wrong?" Timothy Blake asked again.

Lumingon ako sa kaniya at mariin siyang tiningnan pero hindi ako nagsalita. After a while, bumalik din ako sa pwesto ko kanina. I leaned my back on the passenger's seat, crossed my arms on my chest and averted my gaze outside the window.

"Come on, you're not like that. Tell me, is there something wrong?" Alam kong nagtatapon siya ng tingin sa akin kahit nagda-drive siya.

"Nah." I just saw someone flirting with his fiancée that made me irritated.

Hindi na siya nagsalita pa kaya lumingon ako sa kaniya. Dapat namimilit siya. Dapat tinatanong niya ako kung may problema.

Lalong kumunot ang nakakunot kong noo nang makita ko siyang bahagyang nakangiti. Kaagad naman iyong nawala nang mapansin niya na nakatingin ako sa kaniya.

Naiinis ako sa pagmumukha niya. Baka isungalngal ko 'yan kay Shane. On the second thought, wag na pala. I don't want to hurt myself. Si Shane na lang ang isusungalngal ko sa kubeta.

Kung makahawak kanina sa braso ni Timothy Blake akala mo pagmamay-ari niya. Magfíancee pa lang sila. Hindi pa niya asawa. Mukha siyang lintang unggoy na may make up at lumalambitin kay Timothy Blake. Nakakairita.

Ito namang si Timothy Blake, ngumingiti-ngiti pa kanina. Gustong-gusto rin, e. Masaya siya sa Shane na 'yon? E', 'di roon na siya. Sana di na lang siya nakipagkita sa 'kin ngayong gabi, baka mahambalos ko lang siya ng bag kong Chanel na binili pa ni Mom sa France.

"What?" he asked at kahit anong pilit niya, hindi pa rin niya maitago ang ngiti niya.

Mas lalo akong nainis dahil kahit kami ang magkasama, mukhang nasa isip pa rin niya ang malalinta-slash-unggoy niyang fíancee. I saw his car media player at naisipan kong magpatugtog na lang so he can shut up, naiirita ako sa boses niya.

"Can I turn this on?" tanong ko muna sa kaniya habang nakaturo sa media player.

"If it will help your mood, why not?"

Pasimple akong umirap, dami pang sinabi pwede namang sabihin na oo o hindi. My eyes widened immediately dahil sa pamilyar na kantang nag-play after I turn on the media player. Planado ba 'to? Really? Introduction pa lang alam ko na kung anong kanta 'to.

I was about to turn it off again but Timothy Blake stopped me by holding my hands before I could touch the screen of the media player.

"I want to listen to it. Let it be," he whispered.

'Do you remember how it felt like?... I still remember how the days that end, the weeks and months... We were together for so long... I haven't noticed, that we're falling down too fast,'

I looked at him just to see him stare directly in my eyes as we both listened to that song. I slowly nodded and slowly pulled back my hands.

'If I could take it all back... I still want you by my side... If only I could bring you back to me,'

The song is good but I don't want to listen in it lalo na kung nararamdaman ko ang presensiya niya. As of now, I don't want to wake up the old and vulnerable me.

'If I could go back in time... Promise we won't say goodbye... I never really moved on... No, not in time...'

As the lyrics keep on reaching my ears, I feel out of breath. The memories that the song brings suffocates me. I just found myself breathing the fresh air, hindi ko man lang namalayan na nabuksan ko pala ang bintana ng passenger's seat.