Love In A Cruel World

Chapter 20

Tahimik lang ako habang paharap na nakasandal sa railings. As usual, nandito ako sa balcony. A place where I can feel the ruling winds and the sparkling night. I don't have any drinks with me but I still have the same questions I have everytime pumupunta ako rito.

"Angel?"

Napalingon ako sa likod ko nang marinig ko ang boses ni Mom. Then I saw her standing in front of balcony door.

"Mom," bahagya akong ngumiti sa kaniya.

"Why are you still up?" tanong niya at lumapit sa akin.

"I just couldn't sleep, Mom."

"Something's bothering you?" she asked and I just smiled but I know that smile didn't reach my eyes as a response.

"Tell me. Maybe I can help," she insisted.

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin and look at nowhere instead. "I don't know if I should ask you this..." I can't continue what I was supposed to ask.

"Go on." Mom even held my hands on the railings.

I looked at her. "How did I get lost?"

I saw a bit of shock in her eyes and her lips slightly parted. I know she didn't expect that question pero mababaliw na ako kakaisip kung ano ba talagang nangyari. They don't want to open this topic but it will be my weakness if I won't get the answer.

Tumingin din siya sa kung saan at pareho na kaming paharap na nakasandal sa balcony. "Honestly, I really don't know. Nagising na lang ako sa isang hospital room. Ang natatandaan ko lang, we're both on a trip going to the province side. I was planning to surprise your dad since they have a meeting there at napag-usapan na rin naman namin na sa rest house sa province natin gaganapin ang first birthday mo," she started.

"Hindi niya po alam na pupunta tayo roon?"

"No. It's just you, me and our driver. I don't know what happened next. I can't remember anything until I woke up on a hospital bed with your father at my side. But you're not there anymore." She took a deep breath. I know this is hard for her so I held her hands and it's shaking a bit.

"Your dad saw a pile of people sa gilid ng kalsada. Out of curiosity, he came closer just to be stunned when he saw me full of blood. He immediately rushed me into the hospital. When I woke up, I looked for you but he said it was only me he saw lying on the ground, full of gunshots." I saw a lonely tear coming from Mom's eyes.

"Since that day, I have been traumatized by the sound of a gun. Wala naman akong naalala regarding that gunshots but every time I heard it, I always panicked." I know she had a trauma with gun shot but I never knew the reason behind it.

Gustohin ko mang patigilin si Mom because I'm afraid that I'll trigger her trauma but I'm afraid too, that I may not get the answer from my thousand of questions.

She smiled at me as she tried to stop herself from crying. "The day that was supposed to be your fun birthday party, turns into a treatment day for me."

"Back to the story." Mahina pa siyang natawa. "No cars found on that highway kaya naisip namin na ang driver ang nagtakas sa 'yo. We waited for a call, thinking that it was a kidnap for ransom but while we are waiting, we're also searching for you. A year has passed and there's still no lead on wherever you are. We are about to lose hope dahil hindi ka pa rin namin nakikita, even our driver ay hindi pa rin nakikita." I'm starting to think about who that driver is.

"Until we receive a call, they found our car on a cliffside at nahulog iyon sa isang ilog. When the officials checked the car, nakita namin ang kalansay ng driver and he's still in the driver's seat. We look for you on the back seat but there's no bone at all, even a small one. Ang sabi nila, baka nahulog sa sasakyan ang labi mo at inanod na 'yon ng tubig dahil malakas ang agos ng tubig sa ilog kung saan nahulog ang car natin." That actually made me crease my forehead.