Chapter 41: She's Gone

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Katniss' POV

I walk out of the house and start across the lawn I haven't walked upon in months. Luca bounds after me, keeping quiet except for a playful growl every once in a while. I carefully turn the slightly tarnished doorknob and walk across the dusty floor. Luca leaves little paw prints as his walks around towards the kitchen. As I watch him go I can almost swear I see my mother and Prim preparing dinner.

But that will never be. So much has happened since then. Prim is dead, Mother is in District 4, and I'm married to Peeta with a baby on the way. I left this house for a reason. The memories of Prim here are too painful. But I still came back.

"Come on Luca. Lets go look around upstairs," I say and the small black fur ball stumbles after me as I mount the steps. I walk past my old room and look at the bare mattress and walls. I remember all the nights I woke up from nightmares, wishing for Peeta's arms. I also remember some of those nights before the rebellion, Prim would come in to comfort me as I cried.

I shut the door and walk to the next door. I slowly push it open and find her room exactly as she left it. The bed neatly made, not a thing out of place. A fine coat of dust covers everything, from the soft comforter on her bed to the silver hairbrush I got her for her thirteenth birthday, laying on her vanity. I kneel down on the carpet and start talking to her as if she were here beside me.

"I can't believe you would have been fourteen today little duck. It just reminds me how much I miss you. I'm so sorry about Buttercup. He didn't deserve to die alone. I hope he found his way to you like he did to me.

I got married Prim. You were right about him. About how much Peeta meant to me and how hard he fought to get back to me. We still have troubles like my nightmares and his flashbacks, but we help each other through them.

I...I'm pregnant little duck. I'm gonna have a baby. Peeta's ecstatic but I'm scared to death. I'm so scared that I won't be good enough for my child. And I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry you never got to see my wedding. I'm sorry you'll never meet my baby. I'm so sorry," I say and break into tears. I lay my head on her bed and start sobbing, crying for my baby sister who will never experience her life, never have a husband or children of her own, never get to be the doctor she dreamed of being.

In my state I don't notice Luca crawl onto my lap. He starts nudging his way under my arm and starts licking away the salty tears that stain my cheeks. I lift my head and look at the fluffy black puppy with his front paws propped up on my slight baby bump and his tail wagging happily, his sweet blue eyes. I smile at him and gently stroke his head.

"You trying to cheer me up, flashing your big blue eyes and wiping away my tears. Because I've already got someone for that. His name is Peeta and he's probably home worried sick about both of us. Why don't we head home and see what Daddy has cooking for us for supper? Does that sound good Luca?" I ask him. He licks my cheek in response and runs out the doorway, stopping and looking back at me as though to see if I'm coming.

"I'll take that as a yes," I chuckle as I lift myself up, my hand instinctively holding my stomach. As I walk out of the room I look back once more and wipe a stray tear from my eye.

"Happy Birthday Little Duck. I hope I can keep making you and Dad proud of me," I whisper. I then walk out of the house and after Luca hops outside, I shut the door. This was once my home. But now it isn't anymore. Not without her.
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I feel evil. But it had to be written. Hope you guys like it. It's been a couple boring chapters but its leading to something. I just kind of wanted to give a moment for Katniss to talk to Prim. Sorry if its short. I'll talk to you guys again soon.

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