Help Me Make it Through the Night (Everlark Fanfic)

Chapter 20: Will They Ever Leave

Katniss' POV

It's been three weeks since New Year's Eve and time hasn't ever passed quicker in my life. I promised Peeta that five months from now, we will have our wedding. Each day brings us closer together. And closer to our wedding day.

I'm really nervous. I keep having nightmares. The last week it's been the same one, over and over, waking me up screaming and thrashing in Peeta's arms.

I stand alone in the meadow, surrounded by circling storm clouds. I am wearing a torn white wedding dress, very similar to the one Cinna designed for my first "wedding". The hem is caked with mud and shreds of torn silk flutter in the breeze. Suddenly the storm clouds circle faster and the silk pieces begin to form into birds. Jabberjays to be precise. They fly around me circling me and begin screaming. They scream horrible, blood curdling screams. And worst of all their voices are of those who I lost. Who I failed to save. Finnick, Cinna, Prim, Rue, all of them screaming for help. Help I can't give them. Every time, before Peeta is able to wake me, I sit huddled on the ground in my torn dress, my hands over my ears, trying to over power their screams with my own.

Each time, it's taken Peeta more than a hour to calm me down. He tries to get me to go back to sleep afterwards but I never get to. I can lay my head on his chest and listen to his heart all I want and I never do get to sleep.

Right now it's the same as it has been. Me laying my head on his chest and trying so hard to get to sleep. But as much as I try, I know the sleep won't come. Not even with him here. I just lie here and wait for him to fall asleep.

He holds me tight and really makes me rethink my plan. Do I really need to get up? Why don't I just try to sleep? I really don't want to scare him by leaving the bed while he's asleep. What if he wakes up and freaks out?

As his breathing finally slows down enough and the circles that his thumb was making on my arm stops, I realize he is asleep. I gently turn my head to see his face. He looks so peaceful, the moonlight shining through the window casting a gentle glow on his face. I decide I can't risk it. I know for experience that he's never left me while I was asleep. I know because he's always here smiling the sweetest smile when I wake up in his arms. I lay my head back down. I try, and this time succeed in falling back asleep.

I wake up as my pillow shifts under my head. I open my eyes to see Peeta trying to shield his eyes from the sunlight shining through the seam created by the curtains.

"You could have gotten up.I would have been fine," I whisper making him turn and smile at me.

"Well I was trying to not wake you up but it looks like I failed," he says gently kissing my forehead, just below the scar I earned fighting Clove for his medicine in our first hunger games.

"I'm fine, Peeta. You shouldn't worry so much," I say smiling up at him.

"But you've barely had any sleep for the last week. You need the sleep you get," he says sadly. I just look at him sadly, know he's right. A tear that I was trying to hold in slides down my cheek. He gently wipes it away and kisses me again. "Do you wanna talk about it? You know can tell me anything."I nod my head and more tears begin to spill out.

"They are getting worse Peeta. I know they are only dreams, that they're not real, but they are starting to make me afraid to fall asleep," I sob. I wrap my arms around him tighter, not ever wanting to let go. His arms pull me closer, sitting up and pulling me onto his lap.

"It will get better. Life can only get better for us. We've been through far to much for life to get worse." Peeta says gently running his fingers through my thick tangled hair, taking out the knots. I sigh and lay my head on his shoulder. He's right. Things can only get better for us. But from what I've seen lately I don't think the nightmares can.

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So I'm back. I will try to update as much as I can. I just saw Mockingjay Part 1 and may I say, best movie so far. I loved it and I would love to talk about it but don't want to spoil it for anyone which is why if any of you have seen the movie and want to talk about it, kik me @ goatprincess2012. I need another fan girls shoulder to cry on. I love you all and can't wait to write more for you. Thanks for getting me this far and being so patient. almost 11k reads!!! So exited!

Love y'all
Rock on!
-Kayla