Love is a Broken Window | Cricky [C]

53 | Date

| Chris' POV |

I know the guys were worried about this. They had a right to be. If things didn't end well, which I hope they don't, but if they do, it could be terrible for the band. I don't know if I would be able to face him again if something bad happened. I don't want to lose him at all. 

Ricky looked gorgeous tonight. I was scared that I would screw this up. If I lost the most amazing thing to ever walk into my life... I don't know how I'd live with myself. I should just focus on us. On tonight. 

I let him pick the restaurant. He's from Seattle, so he knows what's best. I've never really seen much of Seattle, only what I have from tour. Ricky grew up here. For some reason though, he's never liked coming back here. He always says he loves the city, but complains when we have to come here on tour. It honestly wouldn't be the only odd thing I don't fully understand about him. He's full of mystery. 

From the constant paranoia of screwing up, I made sure to do everything right. I held the door for him, made sure I listened when he talked and looked him in the eyes, I didn't look at anyone else. It's not hard to get lost in the ocean of blue in his irises. 

"You shouldn't be nervous." I said as I put my hand over his, on the table. 

Ricky glanced down at our hands. He turned his over and started playing with my ring. "You say that like you aren't." He snickered. 

I slightly lost my smile. "I am, but only because I'm afraid of screwing up. You are so beautiful, and sweet, and smart, and perfect. I don't want to let you get away." 

"That's funny because, I'm scared of losing you." He softly replied. 

I wrapped my fingers around his tightly, raising his hand to my lips and kissing it. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Good," Ricky responded, leaning forward. "Because neither am I." 

He glanced at my lips. I took the hint and gave him a soft kiss. This was the definition of bliss. His lips, they felt so right against mine. And this kiss, it was the first one we had that was of pure good intention. New Years... that kiss was a bandage to cover his wounds. The second time, after that dinner, was all lust.

This kiss though, has proven to me that we aren't just using each other as vices. Ricky and I do feel something for each other. We do love each other, and this is the start of something good. We know that, but other people don't seem to care about love... Someone walked past us, and snit, "Freaks." 

That made Ricky pull back from me. He settled back into his seat and stared at the ground out of embarrassment. I sighed, finding myself speechless. What do you say? We bring it all upon ourselves. The black hair, pale skin, heavy makeup, and of course the worst... We were gay. This all was who we were, but that isn't acceptable. 

I've gotten used to the staring and comments. My skin is almost bulletproof at this point. Ricky is still very much so bothered by it. I know he was bullied growing up. He mentioned it a few times when we were doing interviews, but I never asked much. I'm sure that left him even more broken. Everyone in his life seems to abuse him, except the guys and I.

"You okay?" I asked. 

"I don't know." He whispered. "I'll be fine."

"People are assholes." I scoffed. 

Ricky looked down at the table. "Yeah." 

He hadn't eaten much. Barely anything was gone from his plate, but I'm used to seeing him not eat. There is nothing I can do about it. He won't eat unless he's happy. Am I not making him happy? He seemed genuine when I made him smile. Hopefully it was just that asshole that was bothering him. 

I reached across the table and pushed his hair back so I could see his face. "Hey, where'd that beautiful smile go?" I delicately asked. Ricky looked up at me. He giggled sweetly when his eyes met mine. "There it is. Keep that smile out, Baby. It looks good on you." 

"I have a terrible smile." He muttered. 

"Oh shush. You're beautiful. You hear me?" I asked. My hand rested on his cheek as my eyes stayed on his. "You're beautiful." I whispered and kissed him softly.