Love is a Broken Window | Cricky [C]

90 | Try

Short ass chapter whoops

| Ricky's POV |

How the fuck did I end up here? Talking my asshole ex off a ledge? Chris tried to stop me but I knew I had to do this. I couldn't live with myself if Jani did jump and I didn't stop him when I could. The cops had yet to show either so I had no one truly in my way.

The wind blew my hair as I sat on the edge of his apartment window, with my legs dangling over the height. He was in the same position, except on the ledge next to me.

"I know you." I started out. "This isn't you."

"Suddenly you sit out on a ledge and everyone thinks you wanna splatter your brains of the pavement." Jani scoffed.

"Were you considering it?" I asked.

He sighed, throwing his cigarette over the edge. It was a long drop. "I was thinking about it. What it would be like, I mean. To take away all the pain, end all the suffering. Both yours and mine. And... wondering how much better the world would be without me."

"What's the sudden change of heart? Why do you care about all you did?"

"Because I'm hopin' Heaven still has some vacancies but I wouldn't mind upping my chances of making it through the pearly gates. The only way I can think is to apologize for all I've done, but I can never fix it."

"Then I'm waiting." I said.

"Waiting?"

"For an apology." I gulped. Yeah, I was still afraid of him.

"I don't think a blanket apology will do much, but I am sorry. I do love you, Ricky, despite hurting you."

I wasn't as relieved as I should have been, but mostly because he was right. One apology isn't going to fix five years of pain.

"There were some days you swore you'd never hurt me. Others you swore you'd never love me. What else could I expect? But I won't let you take angst to your grave. I forgive you, only if you get down from this damn ledge."

"What's the point?" Jani muttered. "I'm dying anyways. What's the difference between four months and four minutes at this point?"

"The difference is, in four months you might be able to gain a few good memories to take to the grave. If there's one thing I have learned, the past is the past. We can put it behind us, so you at least die happy."

He sighed. "I don't even have anyone to miss me. Who's going to even bury me?"

"I will. Only if die fighting though. Giving in like this, that's not the man I want to remember."

Jani snit with a small smile. "You always had a way with words. Fine, I'll come in, but I want one promise from you."

"Anything." I replied. He was dying, after all...

"One more night."

"What?"

"One more night. You and I, one more night please. To go to sleep next to you, to wake up next to you. One more night."

"Okay." I caved. "I promise. One more night."