Love is a Broken Window | Cricky [C]

76 | Air

| Ricky's POV |

I wanted to be mad at Chris for saying I needed to be on my meds. I don't need them! But then he goes and is so sweet! He messes with my head like this! I cannot stay mad at him. That's not good.

Bryan and Johnnie left once they were done with the interview. Balz and Ryan went back to the other bus to get ready for the show. Devin was doing his makeup in the living room area and I was in the bathroom. Chris walked in and wrapped his arms around my waist as I was leaned over the counter. I set my eyeliner down and put my hands over his.

"I'm sorry about earlier." He mumbled as he nuzzled my neck.

"It's okay. Just please understand-and-uuun." I moaned as he kissed my neck. Right on my sweet spot. Oh my fuck. "St-stop." I whimpered.

"I don't want to." He whispered in my ear.

"Chris, you're making me horny." I replied.

"Good."

"Not good. We're supposed to go slow. And we have a show to do."

"We have an hour." He said. "And we've been together for a few months now."

"This isn't the way I want our first real time to be." I spoke firmly. "Buuuut..."

Chris smiled devilishly. "But?"

"Switch places with me and close the door." I replied.

Chris' eyes flickered with lust. He pretty much tossed me around to switch our positions, and he slammed the door. I started to kiss his neck as I ran my hands down his arms. Then I slowly dragged my fingertips down his body as I lowered to my knees to the ground. I rubbed my hand over the growing bulge in his jeans.

"Fuck." He moaned.

"You haven't seen anything yet." I smirked.

His eyes looked down at me. His gorgeous eyes... that I don't deserve. What kind of whore am I? Getting on my knees like this? I only ever did it for Jani because he forced me to.

*flashback*

"Rick!" Jani yelled as he came into our apartment. I ran into the room just as he threw his keys across the counter. "Did you get those errands done I told you to?"

"I got everything from the store you needed and picked up something for your sister's wedding shower. I couldn't make it to the laundry mat in time to get your dry cleaning though."

He glared at me. "Why not?"

"W-well we ran over j-just a little bit at the studio." I admitted.

Jani walked close to me, towering over me. "In what world is that more important than me?"

"N-none. I'm sorry."

"If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it." He scolded.

"Jani, I said I was sorry!" I replied.

He smacked me clean across my check. It stung like fucking Hell! "Don't back talk me. What exactly made you run over time? Huh? Too busy sucking someone else's dick?"

"What? No! You know I would never-"

"Save it, slut."

"Jani-"

He firmly grabbed a chunk of my hair and titled my head back. "I said shut the fuck up! Or I'll make you!"

Jani pulled me down to the floor. I fell mostly, feeling pain in my legs. He stood over me, like a giant over a helpless ant. Jani began unbuttoning his pants. I knew where this was going... He's right. I'm nothing but a no good whore.

*flash-forward*

"Ricky?" Chris spoke to my sudden lack of movement.

I shot up to my feet and backed up as far as I could in this small space. My arms wrapped around me and I muttered, "I-I'm sorry. I can't do this."

"Is everything alright?" He asked, very lovingly.

"I-I-I just c-can't, not right now." I replied.

I frantically searched for the door handle as I felt the room closing in on me. My chest began to tighten. No, not now. I haven't had an anxiety attack in months. My legs crumbled under me and I fell on the floor, grasping my closing throat.

"Oh my God." Chris gasped. He pushed the door open, letting some air into the small area. "Shhh," He soothed. "Breathe, just breathe."