Love is a Broken Window | Cricky [C]

92 | Slipping

| Ricky's POV |

My heart beat as hard as it ever has. There was no escape. For me, for my breaths, for the blood in my veins that would rather be on the floor than in me. I'd rather be dead than be back to this once again.

I ran with no real idea of where I was going. The only thought in my mind was to get out, even if that meant jumping out a window. At least, if I could lock myself somewhere and call 911. I ran down the hall as fast as I could. It felt fucking endless.

My clumpy ass tripped on the rug. I fell flat on my face, no doubt breaking something in my face. I groaned, but still tried my damnedest to get up and keep running. I couldn't though. That was my last chance, and I fucking blew it by tripping up.

I was thrown onto my back by his strong hands. Jani got on top of me, raising his fist. I could see every muscle in his arm as he did so. Chris was fucking right. This was a mistake. I saw his fist coming down for my face, then...

Then I woke up.

I woke up in a cold sweat. The room was almost pitch black, but moonlight peered in through the shades. It was just enough light for me to see Jani asleep next to me. As real as that dream, or rather nightmare, felt, it couldn't have been real for one simple reason. Jani doesn't have the strength to do that to me.

Looking at his sleeping body, I saw there was no muscle definition in his arms anymore. He was thinner than I was. And, I can say, he truly has changed. He doesn't want to hurt me anymore. He just wants to spend his final months in peace.

Jani rolled over and stared at me. "Sweetie, are you okay?" He asked through a scratchy voice as he sat up.

"Just a bad dream." I replied. "Sorry I woke you."

"I wasn't sleeping, Honey. I can't, my body hurts too much." He muttered and glanced away.

"I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Jani looked back at me and pecked my cheek. "Your company is enough."

Why couldn't he have been this sweet our entire relationship? Jani was perfect when he wasn't a drunk angry asshole. It was like the bottle turned him into a completely different person. And now, that asshole may be dying, but so is the sweet Jani that I fell in love with.

We both turned our heads as we heard the door open. December stood in the doorway, letting light in from the hall. He was obviously fresh from sleep.

"Oh, you guys are awake. Did that all wake you?" He asked.

"No, we were awake because Ricky had a bad dream." Jani said. "What happened?"

"Chris is here. He's insisting to see Ricky." December replied.

"It's like 3AM. Tell him I'll talk to him in the morning. If he seems too tired or out of it, which he probably is if he thought this was a good idea, don't let him drive." I told him.

"He's not taking no for an answer."

"Well I'm not giving yes as an answer either." I scoffed.

December opened his mouth to talk, but he was yanked out of the way. Of course, by Chris. I know he can't be drunk, he doesn't drink, so he's just being moronic.

"Can you stop letting yourself into my house this much?" December snapped.

Chris looked at the situation before him. I could tell he was angry. Can you blame him? I was laying in bed with my ex, shirtless, at three in the morning. It wasn't exactly right.

"What is all this?" Chris sneered. "I mean I know you were fucking pissed at me, but for God's sake, go to Ryan's place or Balz's or something. Anything, other than fucking Jani!"

I ran my hand over my face out of frustration. "Chris, it's 3AM. I'm tired at fuck. Please, can this wait until morning?"

"No! This is fucking ridiculous!" He yelled.

"Chris, please don't yell. It's obvious they both have headaches and they aren't well." December said.

"Yeah, I can tell you why Ricky isn't well. Your test results came in after you left. I tried calling but your phone was turned off. You're HIV positive because of this bastard now!"

I felt the air in my lungs freeze. I put my hand over my mouth and tried to hold in my screams and cries. "Let's just be thankful it's manageable. At least it's not terminal like AIDS."

"I don't fucking care, Rick. This is why you've been catching flues so easy the past few years. He's crippled you for the rest of your life."

"Chris, for fuck's safe, you're complaining about this in front of a dying man that already blames himself for enough of my problems. I don't care what Jani has done in the past. What matters is here and now. And now, he needs someone to love him. If you're just going to burden him, fucking leave."

"You don't understand, Ricky. He doesn't love you. He never did. He's using you."

"Don't you ever say I don't love him!" Jani barked.

Him raising his voice caused him to fall into a coughing fit. I rubbed my hand over his back, even though it wouldn't do much to help. My heart skipped a beat when I saw him cough up blood.

"Chris, please leave." I muttered.

"I'm not leaving here without you." He replied.

I looked straight at him with bloodshot, watery eyes. "I said fucking leave. Let him at least suffer in peace." Then I looked over at December, because I worried about Jani more at this point. "He's coughing up blood."

December sighed. "There's nothing I can really do. I can give him some painkillers to help him sleep, but we'll have to call the doctor in the morning. He shouldn't-" He choked a bit, on tears I believe. "He wasn't supposed to have that happening yet. The doctor said that wouldn't happen for a few more weeks."

"Just get him something, anything, to help at this point. Chris can show himself out." I muttered.