Love is a Broken Window | Cricky [C]

89 | Shake

| Ricky's POV |

The next morning, I woke up to my phone ringing. It was like seven in the morning! Who the Hell? Chris? Why is he calling this early? Not that I'm upset, I love to hear from him, but I was worried he was calling this early.

"Hey Baby." I answered sleepily.

"Hey, I'm sorry, did I wake you?" He asked.

"It's okay." I said. "Why are you calling me so early though?"

"I need to tell you something important. I found out Jani has AIDS. He's had it for a very long time and I'm worried you could have it, Baby."

"What?" I gasped as my eyes burned.

"Don't over worry, but please promise me you'll go down to the clinic and get tested?" He asked.

"Will you at least take me?" I asked.

He sighed. "Yeah, Babe. I'll pick you up. We can go for a walk in the park afterward, to ease your mind and just talk."

"O-okay." I replied.

Chris and I said our goodbyes. He told me when he'd pick me up and everything. I set my phone down, then sat up in bed.

There was this heavy weight on my shoulders. Are you serious? First I had to live with Jani's fist for five years, but now there's a possibility he'll leave me in pain the rest of my life. This can't happen... I have so many plans. I want to get married, have kids. I want to see Motionless become the biggest band in the world, I want to tour every city. I don't want to have a death sentence of a few years and spend those years mostly in a hospital.

What am I saying? That's what poor Jani is stuck with now. Yes, I did say poor Jani. Nothing will ever change the fact that he has a piece of my heart, even if it's a very jagged piece. No matter what he's done to me, I don't wish him dead. Especially, a death as horrid as this. Strangely, I will miss our memories. Not him, but the good memories.

Both these terrifying thoughts swam around my mind to the point I couldn't take it anymore. I started to cry, putting my face in my hands and just bawling my eyes out. How'd I end up like this? So fucking fucked up, fuck.

The weight of the bed shifted as Mike sat down next to me. I hadn't even heard him come in. He put his arm over my shoulder, holding me tightly. "Shh, it's okay. What's wrong?"

"Jani's..." I took in a sharp breath. "H-he's, um... D-dying."

"That's a bad thing?" Mike joked. I didn't find it funny and gave him a look as such. "Sorry." He added, rubbing his hand over my shoulder. "Why's he dying?"

"Tha-at's the w-worst part." I sniffled and rubbed my eye. "He has AIDS, he had it when he was with me."

"Oh, Ricky. I'm so sorry. I promise, you'll be okay, okay?"

"You don't know that." I muttered.

"Alright, I guess I don't, but I do know that you are a fucking survivor. You'll make it through this." He reassured me.

Fuck, I hope he's right.

~~~

The rest of the day, I was quieter than normal. I didn't want to eat and I just didn't feel up for life in general. Chris took me to the clinic, but we wouldn't get results right away. He was being very compassionate and sweet. It might have been a little too much, I didn't really care though.

He explained to me about Shiloh getting attacked and drugged by December and Jani. Then Jani breaking into my apartment again. How could I have ever loved that man? I still, even as much as I hate him, feel bad that he's dying.

The leaves on the trees were dying as well. Fall was coming upon us, as well as Shiloh and Devin's wedding. Also the best holiday ever; Halloween. I really hope everything clears up before then. I want that to be a good time for us.

Chris was right though; taking a walk through the park helped me a lot. He held onto my hand as we walked together. We got a few looks but I didn't care.

"You are truly beautiful." Chris said lovingly.

My cheeks burned. It still makes me bashful to hear that from him. "Thanks, Babe. I love you."

He squeezed my hand. "I love you too. I always will." Chris stopped walking and leaned in, giving me a kiss. He tripped into me a little when someone bumped us. "Hey! Watch it!" 

"Sorry, but there's someone trying to jump off the Walberg building!" The guy said. 

Chris and I exchanged looks of concern, then both started to run after the guy. Something about this, didn't feel right...