Forget Me Not • Joshua ✓

Forget Me Not || 09

[ - sophia kim - ]

About two months have passed, Jihoon and I talked a lot and I began to feel more comfortable with him around. He brought me outside from time to time and we talked a lot. Something in me was... Kind of sad ?? I don't know how to describe it. Something's just odd and new for me.

Does it have to do something with our relationship or something ?? I mean, what were we before I married Joshua ? The feeling of happiness that I'm feeling now is different when I was calling with Joshua earlier. A feeling of familiarity ??? And why did I kiss him back then ??? Maybe I should just ask

"Jihoon" I called him out

"Yes ?" he looked up to me

"What are we to each other ?" I asked and he stared at me for a while as if he was spacing out

What's wrong ????

[ - jihoon lee - ]

When she asked that, I really don't know if I should tell her the truth or just say that we're close friends. If I lie to her, wouldn't it hurt me the most ?? But she literally don't remember anything and she knows that she's married. If she distance herself from me then what ?

I don't want that since I'm genuinely still into her... But I shouldn't lie to her about this kind of stuffs...

I was seriously contemplating on whether I should tell her or not

"Jihoon ?" she called me out the second time and I snapped out of it

"Sorry, what again ?" I responded

"What are we to each other" said Sooyoung

I pursed my lips as I let out of a sigh

"Why do you want to know ? Wonwoo have told you that we're best friends right ?" I responded

"What... Kind of best friends kissed each other in pain and agony...?" she asked

Oh shoot.

I'm done for.

"Why would I kiss you if I know I was married ?? Why were we really into it instead of pushing each other away ??" she added more questions to it

I'm seriously done for, I can't avoid this question at all.

"Sooyoung, things are... Complicated" I replied as I held her hand

"I'm scared to tell you because you don't remember any of it and it might affect a lot of stuffs" I said as I looked straight at her

"You know that I can take it in right ?" she responded

"You can, but my heart is heavy to tell you because you're a married woman and you're married to one of my best friends. I can't just stab him in the back" I said to her

"On top of that, you two aren't divorced yet" I added

"So I should just stay in this state of frustration and curious ? I should just ignore the fact that we've kissed and I was basically cheating on my husband too at that time ???" said Sooyoung as she really sounded frustrated.

"Sooyoung. You're seeing your husband now so I shouldn't be saying anything about our past relationships or something" I refused to say anything still.

"What ? I was also cheating on him with you ? Is that why you're so hesitant of it ?" she asked in frustration

I'm also getting frustrated with her at this point.

"Fine you want to know ? Then I'll tell you everything." I said to her

I ended up spilling EVERYTHING about her past and she sat there, shocked. She doesn't seem to be able to process the stuffs I told her at all. I didn't want to tell you any of that, but you were really forcing me to tell you those right ? You got what you want now.

I mean... Curiousity killed the cat.

"Now you understood why all of us refuse to tell you anything right ? You got what you want and now you're regretting everything" I said as I am still feeling angry towards her.

"I... I'm sorry..." she apologized

"We're seriously trying to help you rebuild your life with your husband slowly, but I don't think it'll happen anytime soon, especially you've already know what happened" I said to her

"But why-- Why do you want ME to rebuild a new life with him ??" she asked in disbelief

"I-I can just file a divorce immediately as well ! And we'd be able to be together as well !" she exclaimed

"Because I know you. I know you're still deep in love with him Sooyoung. You're head over heels with him. If you wanted to marry me, you would've just divorced him right there and there but you just left with no words and didn't even bother to tell me" I replied to her.

Honestly, up till today, I'm still upset over the fact she didn't tell me anything and just left me with a goodbye kiss.

"But I can surely divorce him and we can be together afterwards !" she exclaimed

"What makes you think you'd fall in love with me ? What makes you think it'd be the same like before ? What makes you think your heart is yearning for me and not him ?" I asked

"That--- I---" she couldn't seem to answer any of that

"That's what I expected. You may have had dreamt of me, but you felt nothing towards me and you'd expect me to suddenly accept you in this way ? Sorry but, currently we're like strangers to each other don't you see that ?" I asked her and she was quiet, realising that everything that I said was true

"If you've retrieved your memories, that's when you can decide on what to do" I said to her as I let go of her hand

It hurts me saying those stuffs to her, but then again, what's the point of being together with her if she doesn't feel anything towards me like before. She's like a stranger now and I have to rebuild a new relationship with her.

A friend, a colleague. Maybe this is a sign for me to finally move on from her