Forget Me Not • Joshua ✓

Forget Me Not || 10

[ - sophia kim - ]

I probably have made him upset. I mean, I was bombarding him with questions despite knowing he shouldn't be telling me any of this. But he was right, I asked for it didn't I ? I seriously don't know what to feel now. It does get complicated...

I'm gradually falling for Joshua too... I don't know if this is a good thing or not...

"Jihoon... A-are you m-mad ?" I asked timidly

"It'd be a lie if I said no. Your stubbornness  haven't change either despite losing al of your memories, I'm impressed" he replied as he was playing on his phone

"But that wasn't the reason why I'm mad at you." he added which made me confused.

I don't know if I should ask him about it...

"Why...?" I asked him timidly

"Because YOU left without saying a word. YOU lied saying you were just going away for a short time. YOU only gave me a goodbye kiss and disappeared. I was upset when I knew you did that. And now you're in this state. I just don't know how to feel about this anymore" he replied as he sounded frustrated

"I-I'm sorry,,," I apologized

He let out of a sigh as he held my hand

"I don't wanna say any more of this so don't ask no more. Focus on your relationship with Shua hyung. From now on, both of us are only good friends and co-workers. Nothing more until you recall all of your memories" said Jihoon

"I-I understand" I replied

If it was my old self I'd feel sad right ? Gosh I seriously don't know what to feel now. I felt guilty,,,

"I'm sorry that I sounded really angry and all. I just couldn't keep it in anymore. I'm upset, I really am. But please don't think it was your fault. It was probably your way to cope through everything you've went through and I should understand that of you, but I guess I don't really know you like I think I do" he explained

"I guess, even good friends need to explore about each other more" he chuckled then he ruffled my hair

"Hope you'd recover quickly" said Jihoon with a smile

"Thank you,,," I replied

"What you're scared of me now ?" he asked

"Kind of" I replied shortly

"I'm sorry for scaring you Sooyoung. I really didn't mean that" said Jihoon

"There's no need to apologize either. It was clearly my fault that you're frustrated till this point" I responded

"Don't blame yourself okay ? I'm pretty sure it was your way to cope through everything. Now that you've forgotten all of it, you should live your new life to its fullest" said Jihoon

"And preferably, please come back home to continue on your work" he added

"But I don't think I'd remember to do any of that even if I go back there..." I looked down

"I can teach you everything that you don't know so don't worry. It's easy once you get the hang of it" he responded

"Thank you Jihoon. I appreciate that of you" I replied

"Come to think of it, I've never asked you about your age. How old are you again ??" I asked

"I'm two years older than you" he replied

EH ????

"WAIT-- FOR REAL ?" my eyes widened

"Yeah, I am two years older than you" said Jihoon

"Oh my gosh I've been disrespectful towards you I'm sorry !!!" I apologized right on the spot. I've been calling him without any honorifics oh my lord

"No no it's alright. I prefer you to call me by my name anyways. I'm used to it" he laughed

"It feels so weird that you're being all formal and timid around me. Reminds me back when we first met" he added

"Eh ? What happened ?" I asked, curious

"How did we meet ??" I added more

"Well, when I first met you, you were a new student in the school I studied in. Wonwoo and Mingyu were the ones who introduced you to us" he started on telling the story

"At first, I wasn't really into befriending you. I wasn't really the type to socialize much especially if they're girls. Plus, at that time, my circle of friends were quite popular so I tried to avoid girls as much as I could" said Jihoon

"I was really cold towards you to be honest, and up until today I feel bad about it since I was assuming a lot of stuff about you" he added

"Oh ??" I was surprised upon listening to that

"Then how did we even end up being good friends ?" I asked

"Our teacher had us working on a project. To produce a song together. I didn't like the sound of it and honestly I thought you were going to slow my work down. You were so polite and formal with me. I just thought you were playing the good girl on the suface but I was totally wrong" he chuckled

"You were really good at everything, just like how people would describe you. Somebody perfect. I began to take a liking in you and at one point, we ended up dating" he added as he was smiling fondly

"Even after we've broken up, I've always been your go-to place to vent all of your problems other than Wonwoo and Mingyu. Even before you've gotten your amnesia, you'd always contact me first and honestly I'm honoured" he laughed softly

"But now, all of it are gone... I'm really sorry that I couldn't recall all of these..." I apologized

"Why are you apologizing ? Nobody could even expect you'd get an amnesia so please don't blame yourself onto something like this" he pats my head softly

"But--"

"Nope, I'm not listening to you" he cut me off

"Live your life the way it is. You were given a chance to forget everything and restart a new life. Despite me wanting you to recall everything, I prefer you to stay in this state so you wouldn't remember all of the pain you've went through" he added

"What about you ?? I mean didn't you mention that before this we still like each other ?" I asked as I was worried

"Well, we'll just see how it turns out. Either I move on or I'll just keep on liking you till the end. Either way, I'm happy to be with you in any ways possible as long as you're happy" he smiled

When he said that part of me wants to cry. I don't know why. Is it sympathy or my feelings haven't changed ? Either way, if he wants me to be with Joshua, then I should right ? I don't want to disappoint him. After all, he was right. What's the point if I marry him instead and I'm in love with another guy. Things wouldn't work out...