Sailing Close to the Wind

SCW 50 (Gahala's P.O.V)

"You what?"

She laughs and cries at the same time. "You cheated? No, Gahala." She shakes her head, as if convincing me or more like convincing herself. "Mahal na mahal mo ako. Hindi mo 'yon magagawa sa akin."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. Wala na akong masabi pa bukod sa mga salitang 'yon.

I don't even know if I'm really sorry because if I am, then I would have stopped this a long time ago. Maybe I'm just sorry because she caught me, or maybe because I felt like I needed to tell her those words after what I'd done. However, I don't regret my actions. I only pity her.

"Putangina." Lumuluha siyang tumingin sa akin. "Sabi mo sa akin mahal na mahal mo ako...Anong nangyari? Bakit biglang ganito? Bakit sobrang dali naman? Does 4 years mean nothing to you?"

Hindi ko alam kung paano sasagutin iyon. Kaya hinayaan ko lang siyang sumbatan at pagmumurahin ako.

"Kailan mo pa ako ginagago?"

Napakagat ako ng labi, "Months ago. Hindi ko... sinasadyang mahulog sa kaniya."

"Ilan buwan mo na akong niloloko! Tangina. Matagal mo na akong pinalitan. " Halos hindi makahingang sambit niya. "Sobrang tagal mo na pala akong pinagmumukhang tanga! Bakit pinatagal mo pa ha?! Bakit hindi mo kaagad sinabi sa akin?!"

Napalunok ako at halos hindi makatingin sa kaniya, "Kasi...naawa ako sa 'yo."

Halos hindi siya makapaniwalang nagawa ko iyon sa kaniya. If I was the same Gahala she knew, hindi ko din maiisip na magagawa ko 'to sa kaniya. So I understand where she's coming from.

"It's done. " I whispered when the door closed.

It was followed by a deafening silence and I processed everything first before moving an inch. I didn't even bother to follow her. I don't want to give her any hope by doing so.

I examined the shattered mug on the floor. With a sigh, I carefully picked up and swept the fragments and tossed them in the trash can.

I looked around and massaged the side of my head when I saw what she prepared. Nilinis ko ang mga 'yon at tinapon ang mga hindi na kailangan.

"Heyy, what is it? You missed me already?" Salubong sa akin ni Yacey nang tawagan ko siya.

"We broke up."

Natahimik nang kaunti ang sa kabilang linya matapos kong sabihin iyon. "So..." pabutin niya. "I'm officially your girlfriend now, right? I can go now to your condo, right?" She excitedly asked.

I laughed, "Seriously, 'yon ang una mong tinanong? You should have comforted me or something. "

"Oh, shut up babe. You're not broken," she teasingly replied. I can even imagine her gesturing her hand.

"Harsh," I replied habang ngiting-ngiti. I sighed, "I miss you. "

She chuckled on the other side. I could hear happiness in that laugh. "Want me to go there now?" she suggested.

"Not now. Give me time to... clean up," I carefully told her about the things Amara left here. I need to erase her traces everywhere.

I put all of them in a box and sealed it. I don't know how to give it back. Wala akong mukhang ihaharap sa kaniya.

Yacey immediately went over when I told her it was already fine. Hindi sumagi sa isipan ko ang mga ginawa ko pagkatapos ng break-up. I was just enjoying my time with my girlfriend without even thinking that Amara might be crying in her room now, weeping and agonizing over us.

"Teka lang, baka 'yan na yung pagkaing inorder natin," paalam ko sa kaniya saka tumayo mula sa pagkakaupo sa sofa matapos marinig ang pagdoorbell.

Ngiti-ngiti kong binuksan ang pintuan pero unti-unti iyong nawala nang salubungin ako ng mukha ni Mama.