Fifty-eight (Nothing better)

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Song for chapter: Nothing will be better by Nick Jonas

~Previously on Addicted~

"I don't feel like going to group therapy today..."

"I just don't like to tell the whole group about everything."

"Sorry I'm late. I came here today because I can't take the pain inside of me anymore."
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Rose POV

There he was, the guy I haven't seen in two months; Harry. I know two months isn't much for someone to change, but he totally did. His hair seems to be a little longer, and he dresses different now. Skinny jeans, a white v-neck shirt and boots. He has a cross necklace around his neck, and has rings on his fingers. He doesn't look like the kind of bad boy Harry I've been used to, but I like this Harry better.

Everyone is staring at us now, and I could hear that Harry said something under his breath.

"Mr. Styles," The therapist begins to speak. "Take a seat and explain your problem." He looks away, and sits on a chair across from me. He takes a deep breath before looking back up, but not to me.

"I have been trying to forget this feeling inside of me. I have fallen in love with someone I can't have. Someone who I say to myself that she isn't worth it, but I always find myself laying on bed, only thinking about her." His eyes then meet mine, and I immediately look away. I have this lump in my throat, the same feeling as swallowing a dry pill, and that feeling that it's still in my throat. The blood that is flowing in my veins turns cold, and the warmth in my body escapes from me. I feel like if I look at him in the eyes I will break down.

I know I hurt him, as how he hurt me, but I didn't know he's actually suffering because of it.

Mr. Vines, the therapist, writes down a few things in a sheet of paper that is being supported by a clipboard. I can feel Harry's eyes one me while I'm looking down at my hands.

The whole room is quiet, with only the sound of Mr. Vines writing on the paper to be making the only sound. A few moments after and he asks a girl next to him to share her feelings.

"It all started two years ago" The girl who I believe her name is Sarah begins to speak. "I started to feel fat, and useless. I started to eat less, until I would go days without eating anything but just drinking water. If I would eat then I would grab my toothbrush and throw up everything." She forces herself to smile, but fails miserably.

"How much do you weight?" A boy asks her.

"I weight 91 pounds and I'm 5'8." She takes off her huge coat that was covering her whole body, and reveals her back. She doesn't look like she has skin at all. You can see every detail, every aspect of how her bones are underneath her skin. It looks like it will rip her off and come out of her in any second. The room is filled with gasps and low whispers of people talking about her.

"Quiet down everybody." Mr. Vines says. The talking starts to die down, and everyone starts to regain their focus back on their thoughts.

My mind goes back to Harry. I don't feel his eyes on me anymore, but I feel guilty. I bite on my tongue, and I look up to him. He's on his phone, and his thumbs are moving in a rhythm that seems like he's texting. When he puts his phone away I immediately look away, and I pretend to be on my phone.

I just want to go up to him and tell him that I'm sorry. To tell him that I still love him, and that I won't hurt him again. My mind starts to play its own role-plays of how any scenes can go with Harry and I.

I walk up to him, I grab him by the collar of his shirt and I pull him towards my lips I start to think. I say his name, and he looks into my dark brown eyes, his eyes showing lust; a feeling he's been holding inside of him for a long time...

Stop it Rose! Stop thinking that way. If you loved Harry before then you would have never hurt him. My own thoughts seem to be shouting at me, telling and screaming at me that what I did before was wrong. But I'm just a human; isn't the whole point in life to do mistakes to learn from them?

Minutes passed into the class, and everyone got a chance to speak about their feelings and problems. Mr. Vines also got a chance to speak about his addict, he's an alcoholic. I think it's ironic how a man has his problems, yet he helps others with their. In my opinion I think he should help himself first before helping other people. I mean how can you help others if you can't even help yourself first?

"Why are you here if you have an addiction?" A girl asks. Mr. Vines clears his throat before setting his clipboard down on his lap.

"Do you prefer to have a person that has no experience on what you're going through or someone that does have?" I guess he has a point. Maybe he's not only here to fix other's problems, but to help himself too. I shouln't have judged a book by its cover.

"I prefer the one that does have experience." The girl says. He nods in agreement before standing up.

He looks at the time in his silver watch on his left arm before opening his mouth to speak. "Well my fellow peers, it's time for us to dismiss." Everyone gets up from their seats, and walk out of the room. I pick up my purse that is next to my chair, and I walk out.

•••

Harry's POV

I'm in the parking lot of the apartment complex where Rose is staying with Louis. All of this is still a surprise for me, and I still can't handle it. Two hours have passed since our group therapy session ended. I wanted to go to group therapy not only because I realized I needed help, but also because I wanted to see her. She looks different; her hair is a bit shorter and lighter. She doesn't use much make-up and looks like she lost weight. She wasn't fat, but looks curvier than before.

I felt like she's been avoiding me, trying to get away from me or something. I couln't stop looking at her, or even thinking about her. I feel like she moved on, maybe even trying a future with Louis- No that can't be happening. She wouln't just quickly move on like nothing.

I decide to face her. I get out of the car and I walk up to the apartment they are in. I hesitate to knock on the door at first, but I then over come it. The door opens a few seconds later. Rose is in front of me, and her smile faded away once she saw me. I swallow hard, trying to get the lump in my throat out.

"W-What are you doing here?" She asks. I look down to my feet, but what I need to say to her deserves to be said by our eyes looking at each other.

"I need to talk to you." She doesn't say anything for a few seconds, but then decides to. She gets out of the way so I can come in. She shuts the door behind me once I was in.

"One minute." She demands. "Actually never mind. This is a mistake."

"Rose stop." I pinned her against the wall so she couldn't do anything else.

"I love you," I sighed staring at her.

"You need to leave." She refused to look at me in the eyes.

"Don't push me away." I try not to let a tear form in my eyes.

"You deserve better." She closed her eyes.

"I don't want anybody else but you." I raised my voice, trying to get my words through her.

"But I don't want you." She hesitated to say.

"After everything you put me through?" My blood boiled. I know she does want me, she's just trying to forget me.

"I think you should go." She still didn't dare look at me in the eyes. I let her go, and I take a step back.

"Oh I forgot to tell you, Amanda and I did hook up." I say with a smirk on my face. What I said was a lie, but I feel like I should have said that.

I turn to my heels to walk away. "You asshole!" She raged, throwing a pillow at me from across the room.

"Don't talk to me!" She cried, hitting the wall with her hands.

"Wasn't planning on it!" I yelled, slamming the front door, making the windows rattle.

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Isn't Harry a hottie?

What do you think about the story so far? Barely the beginning of something huge.

-WaleskaRomo

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