Achilles Heel |h.s|

43. Astar - Nothing's a Coincidence

Lies. White lies. Little white lies. That's all they are, or at least that's what I keep telling myself as I sit in front of Jesse.

I'm struggling to keep my composure. Sapphire's passing hasn't fully hit me just yet. It was only yesterday and I've had to act as if she meant nothing to me. As if she was just a mission.

She was more than that. Is. She is more than that.

Sapphire's my best friend. The one that held me when I had a panic attack at the club. The one that came over and sang Hannah Montana with me. The one that cleaned my apartment for me whenever I couldn't be arsed to get up out of bed. The one that waited outside of my apartment for me with her arms wide open for me to collapse into after Rodney. She didn't ask any questions.

She never asked. She was supportive regardless of what it was.

She still called me her best friend even though she knew I was an MI6 agent, something I refuse to mention to any of the individuals in front of me.

There's a mole.

The last thing I want to do is compromise the integrity of this mission by making allegations that I cannot prove at this moment.

"Astar, we need to discuss what your future business is with this mission. You've gathered a lot of intel on The Devil's Tribe but your journal seems to be a bit vague, no?" Jesse speaks, tapping his pencil on the edge of his custom wood desk.

I move to clear my throat, sitting up a bit more in my seat. "Shouldn't we be discussing bigger matters?" I ask before adding, "after all, I am in a time crunch. Have to take the train back to King's Cross." I mumble under my breath, breaking my gaze from him.

"And what do you suppose those bigger matters are?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that the club where I'm undercover was shot up? Maybe those are bigger matters?" I scoff, turning my attention back to Jesse, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Or are you just going to sweep that under the rug like you do every other catastrophe?"

Jesse opens his mouth to speak but it's the same thing and it goes in one ear and out the other.

"That was a contained incident. Everyone has been spoken to and the story remains the same. The bigger matter here is—"

"The mission, right," I finish for him, letting out a small laugh in disbelief.

"Thirty-five people died and you don't care,"

A soft sigh escapes Jesse's lips, his hands grasping onto the desk before he's pulling himself forward. "In my line of work, people die every day. There's no stopping it and neither of us could've stopped that."

For some reason, I don't believe him.

"This isn't the Astar I know. Usually, you accept casualties at face value because you know it's to be expected..." he drowns off, brows furrowing as he speaks. "Something is different. Have you become attached to this mission?" His hand hovers over the file containing everything.

"No." I make sure my answer isn't too quick, not wanting it to be suspicious. "Just being in the middle of a shooting and watching bodies fall around me is a bit traumatising, no?" I ask.

They still don't know I witnessed Rodney's death. They just think I overheard it.

"Oh." Jesse then narrows his eyes again. "Are you forgetting that we picked you up covered in your fathers' blood? I don't think a little blood and bodies hurt you, Astar. Don't forget about the sheer amount of bloodshed you caused when you were in a gang."