Save Me (Completed)

22

Miss

It's hard when you suddenly feel so fucking unwanted. I can't blame her for saying all those hurtful words. She is just protecting her son because she is his mother. And I am his worst choice.

I crawled up in bed and hugged myself. Where are you Ace? I need your loving arms and your warmth to calm my senses.

I just want to sleep until I feel better. I cried myself to sleep but it seems like my body is already get used to Ace warmth.

I heard movements outside the room and I know it's him. I just closed my eyes and buried my face hugging my pillow. Until I felt his arms wrapped around my body and in an instant, I felt safe and comfort. He really, is my comfort zone.

"I'm sorry Baby."

He kissed the top of my head and I felt his breathing in my nape. I didn't move. I pretended that I was asleep.

This wont last any longer.

This feeling of warmth and comfort inside his arms.

Tama talaga ako ng sinabi ko sa kanya na hindi kami bagay. Hindi ko naman talaga yun naiisip since we met. Pero narealized ko yun since nung malaman ko na connected sya sa Enriquez Empire. And then I met his family. And then his mother.

I felt like my whole world crumbled down when she said that she doesn't like me for his son. I felt like it was given the moment I met her. I saw it in her eyes. Ganito pala ang feeling ng disapproval and rejection. Ganito din siguro ang naramdaman ni Ace ng ilang beses ko syang pinagtabuyan. But her Mom is a different case. She wants me out of his life and I feel like I can do nothing about it. Parang talo na ako agad dahil buhay at future ni Ace ang nakataya at wala akong karapatan na ipaglaban sya because he don't deserve someone like me and I'm not good enough for him.

Nararamdaman ko naman ang old version of myself. I felt like again, I'm lost in my own world. The darkness is slowly rising like it will consume me whole. Pakiramdam ko may humihila sakin papunta sa kawalan at unti-unti itong nagtatagumpay. Parang gusto ko nalang magpahila hanggang sa kawalan. I saw a hand over me, inviting me. Hindi ko makita kung sino ang nagmamay-ari ng kamay na yun but I don't give a damn anymore. I extended my arm to reach for that hand and I'm almost there.

"Baby.. baby.. wake up!"

Naramdaman ko ang banayad na haplos sa aking mukha. May gumigising sakin. And the hand is gone.

"Maze!! Fuck! Wake up Baby!"

I slowly opened my eyes and his worried brown eyes pierced thru my soul. Kitang kita ko sa mukha nya ang pag-aalala.

"Damn Baby!" He kissed my temple and my lips.

Napatingin ako sa kisame at sa paligid pagkatapos bumalik ulit sa mukha nya.

"D-did I...."

"You're having a nightmare."

Napapikit nalang ako. Naalala ko ang panaginip ko. It's not about the devil that always haunts me in my dreams. It's about me. It's my own darkness.

"Gusto mo ba ng tubig?"

Nagaalala nyang tanong. Tumango ako at agad syang bumangon para kumuha ng tubig. He is wearing his boxers and white tshirt. Pagbalik nya dala na nya ang isang basong tubig kasama pa ang pitcher. Agad nya itong inabot sakin at pinainom. I gulped the water like I've been thirtsty for so long.

Nakatitig lang sya sakin at pinagmamasdan ako. Bakas sa mukha nya ang pagaalala. Alam kong gusto din nyang magtanong pero hindi sya nagsasalita.

Hanggang ngayon hindi padin nya alam kung bakit ako nagkatrauma, kung bakit ako naging ganito. How did I end up broken. How my mind became chaotic. He doesn't know every piece of my story. At hindi ko alam kung meron na akong lakas ng loob para ikwento yun sa kanya. And he never asked me about it.