Marvel x Reader Oneshots

Loki - Four Part 3

Loki followed her as she walked into the library in the compound. He smiled as he looked at the couch where they had spent time before missions going over everything or when they ran out of books in their old shared apartment. But his smile quickly disappeared at the memory of him fucking it all up. She was frozen now in front of him as he closed the door. He leaned his back against the door as she turned around to face him. She kept opening her mouth to say something but kept closing it. Her heart ached to be in this room with him. Then she knew just what to say.

"I wanted to be the girl you would pin onto the counter." Loki's eyes widened.

"What?"

"I wanted to be the girl you pinned onto the counter because you couldn't wait to be... connected... with me until we got to the bedroom..." Loki just stared at her. "I... I wasn't that girl for you... but I wanted to be..."

"Y/N..."

"When Bucky would crash on our couch I was annoyed by it because then I definitely couldn't be that girl... but when I joined the Avengers I wouldn't sleep. And if I did it was short lived. Bucky would help me with tricks that worked for him when he had his nightmares and I didn't know how bad they were until he told me about attacking Thor, not very successfully might I add, while on a mission a year or so ago. Sarah wanted to start spending the night he didn't want to hurt her. He was terrified of hurting her." Loki didn't dare move or try to speak. "So I helped him. So he would get over that hump and be with the woman he now loves more than anything. And... to get him out of our apartment so we could..."

"Why didn't you tell me?" She looked up at him and clenched her fists at her sides.

"Tell you why I was helping my best friend?" She asked harshly. Loki sighed and looked at his feet. "How about tell me why you didn't talk to me about your insecurities when I had always been there for you? Tell me why you thought it better to betray me with four different people in the ways I wished I could do for you?"

"Tell me why you sometimes wouldn't come back till later in the day or at night! And when you did you came back with Barnes!"

"Because you had been avoiding me for a fucking month and around that time I had gained weight!" Loki rolled his eyes, completely forgetting what Bucky had said to him the night she left him. Loki knew she was insecure but that first month he already told her that wasn't when the cheating started. He also knew that he was being unreasonable and that this wasn't the way to win her back but he couldn't help it. He had to know why.

"I don't see what your weight has to do with anything! The helping him with the nightmares I get. But you and Barnes wouldn't tell me what you were doing! I thought you were wanting to leave me!" Loki's voice was like a snarl.

"I know why you did what you did already! You made that perfectly clear the night we caught you! The one night I took to just have fun, that we invited you to join! But you chose to fuck out your problems on whores! While I was just training with Bucky to have the perfect body for you! So you would want to touch me! I thought you were avoiding me because of the weight gain!" She was shouting now and not noticing the tears rolling down her face. She took a deep breath, calming herself down before she spoke again. "I wanted to be the girl you pinned onto the counter... but I wasn't that girl for you... I was nothing more than a security blanket that you didn't want to share... right?"

"Y/N..." He moved to her and towered over. She looked up at him, feeling her heart break all over again. "You are... and always have been the most beautiful person inside and out. Regardless of how you think you look. I didn't pin you onto the counter and just take you because I wanted to spoil your body, to see and touch every inch of you. To savor every last moment. You were the girl I wanted to pin onto the counter but I held back because you are much more than that. Definitely much more than a security blanket."