Chapter 56

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(Listen to the song attached if you'd like to, it's called Mother & Father by Broods; it's helped me characterize Martin for the next few chapters. It's also one of the few songs that make me cry.)

Zoe's POV

I haven't spoken to my parents since I left home. I guess I've been avoiding it. I don't particularly want to know whether they're still on rough terms or not, because there's a certain level of acceptance I'd have to have to believe whatever they need to tell me - especially if it's bad news. At this point, I haven't even worked through my denial. It's weird because I keep thinking that I need someone to blame, and I did blame my father, but I don't even know what the root of the problem is. I want to blame someone. But who do you blame when the only people directly involved in the situation are your parents? They're not the only ones whose love has split because mine feels like it has too.

I shrug away thoughts of my parents ever officially filing and put away my washed cereal bowl and spoon. Just as I grab a coffee mug, there's a soft knock on the door.

"Uhm, hi," Nick stands in the doorway, with a tentative smile and short wave of his hand.

An awkward silence descends. He wasn't in high spirits the last time we spoke at the party and when he left, I knew he was angry with me at the very least. Hopefully he's here to apologize or something, but then again maybe I should since I was the one who couldn't stop thinking about Martin when he kissed me. I almost smack myself when the painful, embarrassing thought crossed my mind. I am so, so pathetic sometimes.

"I just-"

"I'm sorry-"

"Okay, you go first," Nick shyly gestures for me to continue, his cheeks a pale shade of pink.

"I'm sorry for the other night, I shouldn't have just left like that. I- I hope I didn't seem rude or anything, it's not like the kiss was bad or whatever, I mean-" I stop myself, feeling a burning blush creep across my face. "It wasn't. Uhm. I- It was nice. It was very nice."

Nick's face has contorted into a tense look of suppressed laughter. When I narrow my eyes at him, he gives in, a loud chuckle escaping his lips. I watch the way his eyes crease at the corners and soon I'm laughing along with him.

"Look, I'm the one who should be apologizing," Nick says after a moment, traces of his laugh still in his voice, "I overreacted. I just assumed things and I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable."

Nick looks at me with an uncertain gaze, his eyes giving nothing away about what he's feeling. He takes a step toward me, and suddenly, I feel his hand graze mine. His long fingers are barely even touching my skin, just here and there but it's enough to send a darting buzz through my palm.

"But I think you know how I feel and- I hope me acting that way didn't change anything. I liked the way things were going between us so," Nick looks up at me with hooded eyes, his long eyelashes fanning upwards, "If you feel any different, tell me. I'll try not to mind."

He tosses me a wink and I smile back, while my brain starts its regular process of unpicking words. He liked the way things were going, but did I? That's the question. I suppose I did, every part of me knows I did. Being with Nick is so comforting and normal. He's like a breath of fresh air, always swooping in when I need him.

Everything in my head turns to mush as his hand squeezes mine and I look up at him, closing my eyes and then reopening them, Martin's image vanishing.

"I forgive you. And nothing's changed. I don't think it has anyway," I assure him and his face lights up with a deep smile, "I still...I still feel the same."

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