Dear Diary

Entry 8

Dear Diary,

Ok. Another rant coming up. I gave G one of my razors today and he got rid of it. I was seriously tempted not to but I wanna stop and get better. So I let him have it. Should I feel proud or not? Ugh!!!! Great I'm thinking about G again while I freak out over my solo tomorrow. Wonderful. No sarcasm, it's wonderful when I think about him. He's wonderful, but I'm freaking out about my solo. I'm like so scared, I'm singing Greensleeves and I love and know the song but I'm so shy and nervous. I don't know why, I always go into panic mode when I have to do something solo. It scares the crap out of me. Ugh. When I'm like this there's very little that can calm down. G's the best at it, but music helps sometimes, when I listen to it long enough. Kinda. Not really. UGH!!!!!!! I don't want to sing tomorrow!!!!!!! Meh. Ok, I don't know why, but I can't stop thinking about G!!! Right now is probably when K would say "Awwww!!! H is in love!!!!" I would go another rant like yesterday. She would then say, "AWWWWWW You've got it bad!!! Your in deep love!!" I then would start blushing and she would laugh. Meh, why do feelings make people awkward and say stuff like that?! I mean I would never get up the guts to tell G how I feel, or how much I like him. Meh, feelings suck. They're so confusing!!!!!! Great now I'll never stop thinking about G. I can still feel his arm around my shoulder, his hand rubbing my arm and back. I swear when he did all of those things I was blushing. I didn't want him to stop, but sadly he had to. (T^T) It makes me sad. I um-uh well I can't describe any of it!!!!!!!! Ugh!!!! *Sighs* I just wish it was easier to put stuff into words. Oh yeah, I was talking to G earlier and I felt, I'm pretty sure it was happy. I have butterflies around him, I heat up at the mention of his name, and I can't help but always smile when I'm with him. So I think that's happy, if not I have no idea what it is.

Artistically yours,

H