Dear Diary,
I gave my razor to G today, my favorite one. I didn't regret it until I needed it and it's not that I completely regret it, I want to get better and stop hurting myself.. My episodes are getting worse. I have come seriously close to snapping in front of my family. I can literally feel it coming, it's this pricking in the back of my head, getting worse, making things difficult. Meaning I can't tell what's real anymore!! I'm scared, my razor worked best, that pain is real, I can't find anything that will work. I don't know what to do, I feel myself slipping, loosing control. I want to cut so freaking bad, I want to scream and cry and give in. I can't stand having to be strong all the time, sooner or later I will break, it seems to be sooner rather than later. Everything is confusing, I can't tell if this is reality, or if this is just another dream and I'll wake up screaming, or crying while reality crashes down on me. It's so frustrating, my head feels like it's a balloon or something, my sanity is just slipping away. I was hoping I would be able to keep strong and avoid an asylum, but now I just don't know what will happen to me. The urge, the episodes, the confusion, the anxiety, it's all coming down on me hard and I'm getting lost in the force of it. It's so strange, one minute I'll be in my living room, the next minute I'll be somewhere horrific or beautiful, I don't know which to believe. That's all for now, mainly cause I don't know how much longer I have. Bye.
Artistically yours,
H
YOU ARE READING
Dear Diary
Non-FictionFirst you should know that the original details were a lie. I did that because I kinda didn't want to risk my mother finding this book. Now that I have precautions I can say that this is my diary. Yeah, sorry for all the grammar mistakes and languag...
