Dear Diary

Entry 6

Dear Diary,

Hello again. I'm back. I was hoping that I could write something happy in here today, but I just can't. It's like the biggest lie I've ever told is I'm fine. I'm fine, I'm the opposite of fine. I feel like just to keep from being alone again I have to keep up this happy façade. I want to open up and let them see the real me. I would like it if they would accept that me, but I don't think they would. I can't help but feel like I'm already loosing some of my "friends". How can I get better? I want to be happy. I want to feel loved. But all I feel is alone and abandoned. I feel like some of my "friends" are just toying with me, waiting to see what it's like when I break. What would happen if I completely broke? Would I be able to piece some of myself back together? Or would I just be a hollowed shell, never to trust or love anyone again? (T-T) I feel like nothing but a burden to others. I don't want to feel that way. I want to feel wanted. Is that selfish? If it is what do I do? Do I go back to being alone? Do I live with it and try to feel loved? Help. I feel alone. Not the alone I used to feel. I feel like even my mind and sanity is avoiding me. I wonder, what if G actually liked me? I've opened up more to him than anybody else, that's my way of saying that I care. I guess. I hope he likes me. I like him, so maybe he likes me? Maybe? Ugh!!!!! I just don't know what to do!! I feel like I'm on the hopeless side of life. That's all for now.

Artistically yours,

H

You are amazing H and G loves. Trust me he really loves you. He would never do anything to hurt you. -T