All I Want Is Everything

The On-ramp to Stardom

Woke up this morning, closed in on all sides
Nothing doing, I feel resistance as I open my eyes

Living in a Box, Living in a Box.

They had the next week and a half with no commitments. They got caught up on their sleep, Ella went to the grocery store and nagged the boys to fix the hall bathroom door and do their share of the cleaning. Ella decided that she didn't want to get married and have kids if this was what it would be like for twenty years. They saw friends and got tasks done, but Ella was also irritated because Steve kept bailing on the times they set up to work on new music. She finally quit making time for him and wrote on her own. It was more productive that way. The guys went out most nights; sometimes Ella joined them, sometimes she went out with Nat, and sometimes she just stayed in. It was a pain when they started bringing girls home; she could hear the headboards smacking against the wall even upstairs, and there was grunting and shrieking too. She didn't feel like she could complain, though; the three roommates were equal and everyone had the same rights. And she didn't feel like explaining why she didn't want to bring anybody home herself. She had never talked to her twin about her feelings for Bucky, but she suspected he knew or at least guessed.  Steve never asked her about her love life. Part of that was that neither wanted to know too much, but he also knew that Bucky was a sensitive topic for Ella sometimes.

Their return to the business of music occurred with the publication of Live Wire's latest edition. The one with the article about them. (!) They were given copies of it and settled into reading. It was a good article, Ella thought. It pointed out a few weaknesses in their music that she hadn't thought about and didn't like reading about, but she could work on that. Cal's writing was engaging and she thought they all came across pretty well. Steve was a little upset that the article emphasized Ella's songwriting more than his, but when she asked him how much time he'd spent talking about that, he had to shut up. He'd preferred to talk about his playing and the challenges of leading a band. Thor was pleased to report that the label was happy with the article and the reports they'd gotten about the band's behavior on the video sets, particularly the women.

"What did you do?" Ella asked Steve and Bucky suspiciously. Bucky looked shifty.

"We complained about the clothes on the shoot at the park. They wanted us to wear the kind of thing we did for the first two videos, but it was too cold," Steve explained. "We didn't dress until we got something warmer."

"Son of a bitch," Ella said bitterly. "We were freezing our asses off."

"Nat looked pretty warm," Steve said, puzzled. "She was in velvet, had long sleeves. You guys should have said something if you didn't like it."

"We aren't given a choice," Ella said, getting angry. "The makeup artist told us not to get a reputation for being difficult to work with. Stark keeps saying the band won't go anywhere unless we look like blowup dolls. And I really don't appreciate you saying I look like a prostitute, brother. Both Nat and I have been put on diets."

"I'm sorry, Ella," Steve said, scooting over on the couch to put his arm around her shoulders. "That was wrong of me. It was just a real shock. You've always been smart, levelheaded, and rational, and it bothers me that they're saying things like that. You're my sister."

"A couple of cameramen were talking about whether she'd be easy," Bucky put in, and Ella's lips thinned with vexation.

"That's not ok," Steve said, raising his voice. Bucky put his hands up appeasingly.

"Just telling you what I heard."

"Look, Ella...I know this is demeaning, but if you two could just hang in there until we're launched? Then as a group we'll talk to Thor about this. And if anybody puts a hand on you, come get one of us," Steve said after a moment, and Ella wanted to scream.