All I Want Is Everything

Fall out boy

A/N: Short and not sweet. *cackles*

I've always dreamed to find the perfect lover
But he turns out to be like every other man
Our love (I had no choice from the start)
Our love (I've gotta listen to my heart)
Our love (Tearing us apart)

Enough is enough is enough
I can't go on, I can't go on no more no
Enough is enough is enough
I want him out, I want him out that door now

Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer, No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)

The next morning, Ella called Bec just before she left for her first day of classes. Deliberately, so she didn't have time to talk. "Just wanted to let you know that I'm going hiking after classes this afternoon," she said casually. "Not to worry if you can't get hold of me."

"Ella, you're not a hiker," Bec said, stopping in the center of her bedroom as she got ready for work. Sam was heading out for studio work, but sat on the bed when he heard the frown in his beloved's voice. "You're a city girl."

"It's a shame to have pretty natural places and never see them," Ella said.

"You like parks."

"I'm expanding my horizons."

"What did Bucky do?" Dread crept over Bec and Sam slid his arms around her in support.

"Nothing," Ella said brittlely. "Look, I don't want to be late first day of class. Talk to you later." And she hung up.

"Oh, fuck," Bec said, staring at the receiver in her hand.

Ella left her house by a side door and hit the garage door opener as she placed her backpack in the passenger seat of the Corvette and slid into the driver's side. Usually the purr of the sports car, enhanced by the glass-pack mufflers, delighted her but today she just wasn't in the mood. She patted the dash consolingly and backed out, the door closing behind her, and she pulled into her driveway. She noted that her clothing had been folded and placed on the front steps, and she bared her teeth in what was not a smile. She paused at the gate, got out, and changed the codes on both the driveway and pedestrian gates before pulling into the street and heading into the city. Traffic kept her mind focused, and she was ready for learning when she pulled into a UCLA parking lot. Her classes were popular enough that there were multiple sections of each, and she had been able to arrange her classes back-to-back. She recognized students from other classes and had people to sit with and eat lunch with. After she was done on campus, she left the city, driving about an hour to San Bernardino National Forest, Cedarpines Park. There was an easy trail there, she'd been told, not quite two miles, called the Heart Rock Trail that was pretty and had a waterfall although it wasn't very big this time of year. This time of day, with schools in session and during the workday, the trail wasn't very popular, and Ella enjoyed the walk. If this was hiking, she could get into this.

She almost missed the famous heart-shaped hole in the rock, located next to a much bigger hole. It wasn't that spectacular, she thought, enjoying the fresh air and the quiet more. It was an easy amble, and even having taken her time, she hadn't spent as much time on the trail as she'd thought she would. She had some water in a thermos and snacks waiting in the car, which she enjoyed in the peace before starting up the car and heading back.

Meanwhile, at noon, Bec closed her office door and dialed her brother's home. "What happened last night?" she snapped when he answered. "Why were you being so uptight at the bar? I thought that you wanted a relationship with Ella."

"She was drinking," Bucky said sullenly. "I didn't want to take advantage of her. But the taxi got to her house, she stomped off through the pedestrian gate. I followed, she... yelled at me, then went inside and locked the door." He was puzzled.

"What did she yell about?" Becca asked, hanging on to her patience.

"She was mad that I wouldn't touch her. But I respect her and I don't want to go too fast, she's not a piece of ass. And the dates haven't been what I thought they'd be."

"What, precisely, did she say?"

"She said that I was being uptight, that she was hoping for at least a kiss, then she asked what was wrong with her. She, uh..." he floundered, and Becca thought she could hear him flush.

"What."

"She... ah... stripped."

"What?"

"She asked what was wrong with her. There's nothing wrong with her."

"What is wrong with you? Prior to this date, she thought that she'd misunderstood what you said when she HAD A CONCUSSION. That you'd lost interest. She said she didn't feel any interest from you at all. I had to propose the double date to get her to go out with you again. I said it would be fun."

"I don't want to go too fast."

"You dumbass. She wants---well, wanted, anyway, to be close to you. To have sex with you. You know how much she needs touch. And you were all snuggly when she was recovering from the assault at that festival, and then you withdraw completely. Shit." She whimpered, putting her head in her hand. "You have really fucked things up. And my friendship is going to take a big hit because I promised her you weren't playing with her." Becca wanted to cry. "I assured her that you were serious, Bucky! I thought you were serious! Now she thinks she misheard or misunderstood whatever the fuck you said to her, doubting herself, and being rejected—AGAIN—is not what she deserves!"

"What do you mean that she needs touch?"

"You know what I mean, dumbass," Becca snarled. "She's always been really tactile, ever since we met her. She was literally always under her dad's arm when he was around. Her mom hugged and kissed her all the time. Chris was practically glued to her until he went to school. You've joked plenty of times about the puppy pile when we watch tv together. She's always touching people, light little pats on the hand or arm or shoulder. It helps her feel secure and connected to people. She's a snuggler. Touch is affection and it keeps her going. She gets depressed when she's isolated."

"Steve didn't—"

"Steve's an asshole. Now that I've seen his real character, it wouldn't surprise me one bit if he didn't even hug her because he knows it's something that she values and needs." She drew in a deep, careful breath. "Now you listen to me, because I'm only going to say this once. This is not some bullshit medieval notion of courtly love. You're beating up on somebody's real heart here. It's not about imposing your fantasy of how things should go. I thought you understood that you have to read your date. She wanted to be close to you and you shut her down. She wasn't drunk last night. She wasn't impaired. She was practically begging you to show her some affection and you withdrew like she had a bad rash or insects coming out of her skin. She probably thinks you've just been using her, giving you an arm and a career again, not that you actually want her. And after you entreated her to give you another opportunity. I can't begin to express how angry and hurt for her I am over this, and it's going to be a thousand times worse for her. She's been around you, she knows that you're not at all shy about getting laid, and it isn't about showing respect. I don't know what the hell is wrong with you. All I know is that I hope jerking her around was worth it, because I can't help you anymore. I don't see how you can come back from this." She slapped the phone back into the cradle.

Bucky slowly put down the phone. Shit. He hadn't thought about how Ella would interpret what he'd tried to convey to her, that she wasn't just some woman he wanted to fuck and have a good time with. She had classes today, but the were in the morning and she should be home. He needed to explain. He hopped in his car and drove over.

The gate wouldn't open. He went over to the driveway gate and tried the code there. It didn't open either. He hit the call box, but there was no answer. He went home and called her house. "Ella, it's Bucky," he said, trying to sound normal, beating down his unease. "We need to talk about last night. I think we're dealing with a misunderstanding here. I wanted to be respectful to you, but I think I got it wrong. Please call me so we can talk this through."

She did not.