All I Want Is Everything

Live Wire

Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
Got to kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight

Bruce Cockburn, Lovers in a Dangerous Time

A week later, two things happened in public, and another thing happened in private.

First, a little-known record company in Los Angeles put itself on the map with the announcement that it had signed hot guitarist Ella Rogers to its label. The press got fun pictures of Ella snuggling with the label's mascot, a chonky, good-natured orange tabby, and the much cooler but less cuddly president, Nick Fury. The entire Flerkin executive staff showed up for the announcement, actually, and the world got its first look at Phil Coulson, the executive vice president; Maria Hill, A & R;  Monica Rambeau, legal; a guy known just as Wong, promotion and art; Kate Bishop, artist development; and Wanda Maximoff, publicity.

Second, the latest issue of Live Wire was published. Although the interview with Ella Rogers wasn't the cover story, it was the main reason that the magazine was bought out within 48 hours. It had bumped two articles and was given more images than the cover artist. A candid picture of Ella in the gothic-arched seating area adjacent to the hotel's outdoor area covered the entire first page of the spread and had the title "Ella Rogers: Dropping the Shield" superimposed on it.

"During her tenure with the band she started with her twin brother, journalists would generally agree that Ella Rogers was very talented, polite, cooperative, professional. But that was apparently just the surface she let them see. On her own now, she is much more relaxed, showing a wry and sometimes self-deprecating  sense of humor, and much less guarded. She's warmer than her video vixen persona but still beautiful. She also seems a lot happier.

"To be honest, I have no idea what really happened," she says, seriously, about why she was kicked out of the band, addressing the elephant in the room to get it out of the way. "The others wanted Sam (Wilson) to join the band, and they sold me on the guitar parts we could have with another guitarist. I showed up for the press conference but the band's manager and the head of legal for the label diverted me, told me that I'd been fired, and had me sign a bunch of papers at a time when I was in no condition to read and understand what I was signing. My lawyer had to go over them to make sure I hadn't signed anything stupid, and he found an accounting mistake, but to the label's credit, this was rectified immediately."

Then what happened? "I was in shock. I never in a million years thought that would happen, or even that it could, that I could be fired like that without notice. Things had been strained between the three of them and me for awhile and it was worse on the road, but knowing that my twin would treat me that way along with someone I'd know for all but six or seven years of my life... wow. I did not see that coming. I couldn't stay at home, my brother and I inherited the family house, Bucky was our roommate, and later Nat moved in too. So I packed up immediately and went to the train station. I was going to go to Chicago, I have some friends there from college and I thought I could get information about engineering firms there. But my plans evolved." She chuckles.

I guess so. "I don't like being run off," she admitted. "So I retreated strategically. Formed some plans. I've been making friends and contacts, and I'll be able to pursue music on my own, which matters to me. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't, but I'm giving it all I've got."

Has she heard from her former band mates since that day? "No. But then again, I deliberately made myself scarce. I don't have any interest in hearing from them. I can't imagine anything they would want to say that I care about hearing, and I would want to punch Steve. Our parents would be very disappointed. After reflecting, though, I see now that it shouldn't have been as big a surprise as it was. I didn't want to see it, or I guess I just thought that our relationships would get us through this phase. As I mentioned, they had formed a subgroup. Steve has always wanted to be the big man. He got lead vocals in the band because they said the band wouldn't be successful with a woman at the mike. I lost backing vocals on the last album, had less presence in the videos, and I found out that he was trying to represent that he was the group's lead guitarist, too. But we had a talk about that. And the simple fact is that he's a better rhythm guitarist. And playing live, there's no do-overs or tricks you can pull if you can't actually solo." She looks away and takes a pull on her beer. "I told you that I'd be as candid as possible," she says, as if reminding herself. "So this next part smarts some still. I'd been in love with Bucky for quite some time. I finally got up the nerve to tell him that, and he said that he loved me like a sister." I wince, and she nods. "Sucked. But that's what happens sometimes, and you have to deal with it and move on. And I remembered that he also said he didn't want to get involved with somebody from the group, so that helped a little." I nod, Barnes mentioned that in the band's profile that ran in this magazine last year. "But it turned out that he and Nat had been sleeping together since the first tour. And she knew how I felt. That hurt, no lie. I'd been planning to move out anyway, into my own apartment. I wanted some space, but not that much! I guess it's true, be careful what you wish for."