All I Want Is Everything

The cycle starts again

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love
Or you can start speaking up

Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle 'neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly, I wanna see you be brave

Sara Bareilles, Brave

Ella was in the studio for fourteen days straight, ten hours a day. The studio musicians were damned good, it's just that she didn't have the gestalt with them that she was used to and it took a little more energy to explain what she had in mind. It was a pleasure collaborating with the drummer, bassist, and rhythm guitarist once she got used to it, though. They were professionals, not desperate to shine in a band, willing to follow her ideas without complaint, and they'd been at it longer than she had, giving her tips about the music business in general and about studio work specifically. After the first day, Nick went back to running his label, content with Ella's work ethic and professionalism. Loki hung around longer, working with Maria Hill as Flerkin's A & R rep, Wong from Promotion/Art, and Wanda from Publicity off and on. Ella forgot about them after the first few days as the musicians made suggestions to strengthen the impact she wanted to make and Scott directed their efforts carefully, improving the sound as well. Kate Bishop from Artist Development came down a few times, listening and making notes, and Tony Stark showed up too; Ella could see him in deep conversations with Flerkin personnel and Scott but she was too busy to care too much. 

She felt great about everything until it was decided to release the song she had doubts about as a stand-alone single, not included in the album. It was different in tenor and didn't fit in on the album. The B side would be an instrumental she'd been noodling with forever.  Scott didn't tell her what he had planned but they were in a new studio for the last day. She walked into the bigger space and was surprised to see that her collaborators were gone, replaced by two violas, a cello and a contrabass. "Don't panic," Scott said soothingly. "The strings are going to be light and low. They're going to be the perfect support for the emotion of this work. Let's run it through a few times before you make the call. Keep an open mind, Ella. I wouldn't steer you wrong." After listening to the strings, Ella was forced to admit that it sounded good, and she started tweaking their parts to better support what she heard in her head and her voice.  It took  the full nine hours of studio time, stopping only for a half-hour lunch and a few pee breaks, for Scott to delicately pull the performance that he wanted out of Ella. It wasn't easy; she didn't want to be too vulnerable in this song, but she was coaxed into using her recent vocal training to its limit, showcasing emotion in her voice but not so much that it sounded pathetic. For the first time as a professional musician, her guitar part was limited to power chords for emphasis with a few soft runs down the fretboard. The process left Ella feeling drained, and she retreated to her hotel room, feeling like she needed a little recovery time. Clint came over, providing a distraction that kept her out of her head. They went out for breakfast the next morning.

"So how's it sounding?" he asked as the waitress refilled his coffee cup for the third time.

"Good, for the most part," she said. "Scott will make it sound amazing, anyway." She chuckled and he smiled.

"What's the other part, though?"

"It's a power ballad," she said slowly, sipping her own coffee as they waited for their food. "I don't like feeling that open. It's a pretty tender thing to lay open to the world, but they think that it'll appeal to people who are having a tough time in a relationship."