All I Want Is Everything

The revolution probably won't be televised

If you need me, call me
No matter where you are
No matter how far (don't worry, baby)
Just call my name
I'll be there in a hurry
You don't have to worry

Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell, Ain't No Mountain High Enough

The rest of the week flew by; Bucky had studio work as well as packing up to move and cleaning each room as he was finished. Ella had meetings regarding the recording of her new album, promotion, and the tour, as well as a session with her new psychologist. She didn't say much about it before, but she was going to go once a week until she went to Colorado, get a grip on her problems and really work on them. Becca and Sam put in an offer for a house, which would need a little work, and she committed to helping them move in if their offer was accepted. She started to work with her musicians, practicing and refining the music—two power ballads that she was particularly proud of, and the rest of the album would be bangers of varying intensity. She had more than she needed, but she could use the extras to round out the concert. The good thing was that she wouldn't have to worry about her wardrobe at all; it would be taken care of for the videos, and she would be given a choice for her concerts since the label wanted to shoot one of them, come up with a movie that included rehearsals and soundchecks as well that could be released for fans.

She made time to be home, though, when he and Sam brought his stuff over on Thursday and moved in—breaking out really good champagne to mark the occasion along with snacks once the couch was brought in, the drum kit set inside the music room in its cases, and his things in the bedroom to be unpacked and distributed later. Sam helped carefully move her piano to make room for the drums, placed in the center where it was the sight that greeted the viewer from the door. After Sam left, Ella helped Bucky take the drums out and stored the cases and unpacked his clothes while he got his kit arranged to his satisfaction. They ordered dinner in later and Ella helped shelve his books in the library.

The leather sofa was first used for an Olympic gold-medal cuddling performance.

Bucky made the time to be home when Ella got back from her first session with the trauma psychologist. Although most of their sessions would be an hour long, this was a two hour endeavor, first for the psychologist to get her history and understand the dimension of her problems and trauma, then to have the time to work on it some. Ella was exhausted when she got home, and Bucky was ready for her with cuddles, water, and a shoulder to lean on.

'It's going to take awhile," she said glumly. "Lots to unpack, discuss, resolve. But my homework is to look at events in the past more objectively. The shrink thinks that I'm blaming Steve for everything, which inflates his importance and responsibility as well as letting myself off the hook." She sulked momentarily. "I don't want to be fair." Bucky smiled into her hair and adjusted his hold on their cuddle.

"But you will," he said peacefully. "It's not in your nature to be unfair. And it's not like he was just a shitstain from birth. There were times when he was good." He smiled lazily while she grumped and snortled through that.

"What did pop up, that seemed to surprise her, was that I don't regret helping him when he wasn't able to defend himself, even when the outcomes were less than optimal for me. I understood where he was coming from then, how hard things were for him, not being able to do things that everybody else could. I understand why he acted the way he did, and although I didn't always like it, I wasn't bothered particularly once I'd reacted to it. Of course, I was really good at repressing my emotions then, too. But I felt that he was worth it, that he might be upset about the circumstances but not with me. It wasn't until problems during college and the band got untenable that I realized that he didn't reciprocate and that it wasn't worth it anymore," she said thoughtfully.