All I Want Is Everything

Fail

If you think I'll sit around while you chip away my brain
Listen I ain't foolin' and you'd better think again.
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
If you think I'll let it go you're mad
You've got another thing comin'.

In this world we're livin' in we have our share of sorrow
Answer now is don't give in aim for a new tomorrow.

Judas Priest, You've Got Another Thing Comin'

Ella fit her analysis around her classes and both she and Steve got a list of analysts who worked with pairs to reconcile differences. There was one name appearing on both lists, so that was who they went to. Progress was slow at their once-a-month sessions; there was resentment on both sides to be worked through. Ella resented Steve for being able to get away without exerting himself much and feeling entitled to things at her expense, being controlling, only being nice to her when he wanted something. Steve resented Ella's skill set, what he saw as sucking up to their parents, people in authority in general, and their cousin. For some reason he saw Ella's purchase of Waterford glassware for her home as an attempt to buy Thomas's affection. Ella shot back that she'd never told Thomas about the purchase and that she liked the connection of something beautiful to family. They fought about their brother, too, Steve feeling like Ella had hogged Chris's attention and love, and Ella feeling that she shouldn't be put down for actually putting work into relationship, which was reciprocated, and that Steve could have gotten off his skinny ass and tried harder with Chris. About the only thing they didn't fight much about was the band; he agreed that it was scummy of him to have orchestrated her ouster and that they deserved what they got. Steve expressed that he thought less of her for getting pregnant and having an abortion, and she blew up over that. She had regretted telling him almost instantly.

"You fucked so many women and you had at least one STD that I know of," she fired back. "How do you know that you never knocked someone up? I doubt they'd have told you, and I can't see you wanting to be a single dad. So how is that any different?"

"Women have to be more careful," he said stubbornly. "If you didn't want to be pregnant, you should have kept your legs shut."

"Nobody gets pregnant alone," she said through teeth gritted so hard she was surprised she didn't crack a molar. "It takes two, asshole. And you certainly like that women are willing to have sex with you without any promises or commitment. What would you do if every woman shut her legs?"

"Namecalling isn't constructive, Ella," the analyst said.

"But he can call me a slut?" she demanded.

"He didn't say that."

"That's his implication."

"Aren't you worried about going to hell?" Steve asked. "You know the church doesn't approve of abortion, or birth control, for that matter."

"The church doesn't like women," she fired back. "They don't get any real say in anything. They're expected to be ruled by men and chained by their biology. There's a reason I quit going to church. A lot of them, actually. And the bible says that the soul enters the body with the first breath and exits with the last. My abortion was performed long before viability. You're an example of what's wrong with people, your embracing of the double standard. And you never said whether you'd encourage some of the nameless women you stuck your dick in to have the child, pay child support for eighteen years, be a father, or whether you'd be relieved that she had an abortion herself."

"I'd never ask somebody to get an abortion for me," he shot back. "My conscience is clear."

"But you think somebody's going to hell because they had to make the choice, despite you having definite responsibility in the situation. You push off the responsibility of making the choice and think that you're good with God?"