All I Want Is Everything

Music

I made a resolution and I plan to keep my word
But I need you to make it work
You've got to read the message
Understand what's on my mind
'Cause not to see would be a crime
And we could lose it anytime.

Tina Turner, Show Some Respect

In late April, Ella arranged for a week's absence from her classes and responsibilities, including working at the student café. Scott had found a small recording studio that was within the band's budget; he said that although it was shabby, the engineer and equipment were good. Ella got there early to introduce herself to the recording engineer, an older, easygoing man who didn't have much to say. Bucky arrived first with Erik, and she helped them carry in the drums. Their techs showed up at the same time as Scott, and she went into the control booth to talk with Scott and the engineer, see if the engineer had preferences, go over the strategy once again with Scott.

"I haven't talked to Steve for months, so I don't know where his head is," she said quietly to Scott.

"Difficult musicians are part of the gig," he said reassuringly. "But there usually isn't as much baggage between the musician and producer, so if it gets unreasonable, we'll deal with it. Remember, though, that you're the producer here. Don't let your brother manipulate you and keep it professional." Ella nodded, then went back into the studio to talk to the two musicians, see how there were feeling about the recording, where they were that day. Erik was in the best headspace; he didn't have an emotional investment in the band and he thought of it as his job. He was ready to go and professional. Bucky was also eager and ready to go, but he was nervous about the drumming. Getting fine motor skills with the new arm was difficult although he wasn't discouraged because Strange and the rest of them had been realistic from the start about the technology and what Bucky would likely be facing. He was also apprehensive about Steve. He'd talked to him on the phone a couple times since he came out of rehab, but they were brief conversations and he didn't have a real idea about where Steve's head was.

Steve and Natasha came in together. Nat's face was bland and Ella couldn't get a read on her, but Steve's face was like a mask. Ella abandoned checking in with them, just said genially that she was going to the booth and that they'd start as soon as Nat and Steve were ready.

"Aren't you going to tune my guitar?" Steve asked her.

"No," she said politely. "Where's your tech? I'm producing." And with that she quit the room.

The nerve.

It turned out that Steve had not arranged for a tech to be present, but Erik spoke with his, and this guy tuned both the guitar and bass. Ella breathed deeply when the band was ready and touched the button for communication with the studio.

"Ok, let's start with "Make It Slow." Play it through once, let's see where everybody is," she said pleasantly, then sat back. It wasn't half bad, she thought. She'd been afraid that it would be a disaster, resentment and issues impairing the band's ability to play, but it wasn't that bad. Scott sat back listening as she explained to the engineer what she was looking for in their sound. The engineer had ideas and suggestions, and after he went down to replace and adjust a couple of mikes, went again. The band played her music differently than she would have, but at its heart, she knew the sound and how to maximize everyone's contributions in some way. During a break, she went down to talk to Bucky while the others were moving around, getting drinks and hitting the bathroom.

"How's it feeling?" she asked.

"Good, but I'm not where I hoped to be," he replied, a little down.

"Don't forget that this isn't for an album to be released. Attack it now, then you can rerecord it when you get a contract. For example, that second take, where you were elegant and spare, that sounded terrific. Do what you can right now, and it does sound awesome, make it your best," she said. "You can always build on what you have now, let it all out on tour. Maybe you'll do a live album. In any case, you don't know this material as well as the older stuff. You always like to let it roll around for a while before you decide." The more she thought of it, the more she thought it would be the best way to go with this band and this material. But it wasn't her decision, she didn't get a vote, so she planted the seed with the most receptive musician and moved on. Bucky nodded thoughtfully, and she went back to the booth.