All I Want Is Everything

It's just the beginning

When I fall in love it will be forever
Or I'll never fall in love
In a restless world like this is
Love is ended before it's begun
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun

When I give my heart it will be completely
Or I'll never give my heart
And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
Is when I fall in love with you.

And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
Is when I'll fall in love with you

Nat King Cole, When I Fall in Love

The countdown was real.

Two weeks to wedding.

Ella and Bucky were kind of frazzled, but not freaked out. Bec was irritated, because she'd been teetering on the edge of a meltdown although never quite falling in by this point prior to her wedding.

"What is wrong with you?" she asked, only half joking. Ella shrugged over the drinks they'd ordered for their best friends night out enjoying the evening on a patio on a busy street that afforded excellent opportunities for people watching. Ella leaned in, mirrored by Bec.

"Well, after that article, this is pretty low stress, everything considering. I mean, the worst is out there for anybody to read. I survived that just fine. Helps that most of my friends these days are musicians who understand, or industry-adjacent. Other friends distanced themselves, and now I know what's what there too. We deliberately planned it to be lower pressure, anyway. To me, the wedding is like... painting in an outline with colors. It's going to make my life richer, but it doesn't fundamentally alter it. James and I already committed ourselves to each other, but this puts a seal of approval, legally, anyway. And it's an opportunity to get dressed up for my best guy." She sighed dreamily and Becca smiled indulgently. "Plus it's just two weeks until we're sisters for real," she continued, and both of them grinned. "Poor Sammy. He's really stuck with me now." Their laughter was caught short.

Nat stood on the other side of the low fence that delineated the patio space, pushing a stroller containing her infant. "Hi, Ella. Becca."

"Nat." Ella's face was blank, the laughter she'd shared with Bec dead and gone. "Congratulations on your daughter," she made herself add. Nat's face softened and glowed as she looked down at her child.

"Thanks," she said, then scooped up the kid to show the other women. "This is Sarah." The tot waved exuberantly, wiggling at the sudden freedom.

"She's adorable," Ella said truthfully. She had a happy look about her, spherical, in a cute little pink dress. Her hair was reddish blonde, and she had her father's--and Ella's--vivid blue eyes.

"She is," Becca said, extending her hand. The baby grabbed her index finger and she laughed. "I want one now."

"Sammy's enjoying the newlywed phase of marriage," Ella said, amused. Bec sighed, frustrated.

"I know. So am I, but..."

"I don't know if Steve's gotten in touch with you,"  Nat said, regaining their attention, and Ella shook her head.

"That writer hunted up the roadies. Apparently it was supposed to be an expose on rock's seamy side in general, but the way the band was and everything, he thought it would be juicier to focus you. Apparently he'd actually been at the restaurant where you and Steve had lunch, paid a waiter to tell him what he'd overheard. None of it came from Steve, Ella. Or me. I swear."

"I'm surprised he tracked down the rumors," Ella said.

"Steve's changed, Ella. He's gotten a lot more introspective. And sure, it started out being mad and hurt that doors closed to him after the band imploded, but Sarah made him think. Really think about where he's been, where he's going. What he's going to tell his daughter when she asks about his family. At first he didn't want to be an asshole in her eyes, but now he's changing for himself, too. I think he wants to make amends but doesn't know how. Or even if it's possible. He's done a lot of bad things to you. Both of us have. We've hurt Bucky too, along with a lot of others. The list of amends is long, and not everyone will accept our apologies or take the time to see that we're working on changing. Evolving. Into something better. I know, it's a low bar. And you may not believe it, Ella, but I miss you. I didn't realize how much you brought into my life, how much fun it was to be your friend. I remember that first tour, the one we did in the van, that first interview with the Live Wire reporter. All of us going to our diner, like that time after that tour, before we met with SSR to hear the plans for our first album with them. Making plans."