All I Want Is Everything

Together

Baby, all the lights are turned on you
Now you're in the center of the stage
Ev'rything revolves on what you do
Ah, you are in your prime
You've come of age

Billy Joel, Everybody Loves You Now

Back at the hotel, Sharon had had Bucky's bags placed in Ella's room. Once the door had clicked shut behind them, Ella practically collapsed into Bucky's arms. "That bad, huh?" he murmured as he drew her close to him, stroking her hair as she snuffed, her face to his chest.

"It's super upsetting," she said. "I like Kevin. And I feel like I have to be a strong leader for  my band. I'm responsible for the tour." He felt her shudder. "And he cut so deep that he has permanent nerve damage. He's done as a drummer."

"Shit," Bucky muttered. "But cards on the table, Bella, I know that I'm a convenient substitute. You could bring somebody of your choosing in, I won't be upset. This is your show. And you might not want me to finish on your tour."

"How can you say that?" Ella was aghast.

"We've fixed things between us," Bucky said steadily. "Made it stronger. But touring is different. And the last time we toured, bad things happened."

"No," Ella said, sniffling and trying not to cry. "I want you here. I called, to tell you, then I was going to ask you if you could join the tour, bail me out. I love playing with you, James. Nobody understands my music like you do. I need you. Sometimes it scares me how much I do."

"Aw, Bella," he cooed to her. "I need you too. I know it's hard for you to get used to, but I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to go. I jumped at the chance to play with you again in a professional setting. I love playing with you at home, but tours are something else. You get that gestalt going with the crowd, you're unstoppable. I almost feel like I'm high back on my kit but I'm clear-headed. And you make that possible for all of us." He stroked his fingers through her hair. "Let it all out, baby. You're so tense and upset."

So Ella did, dampening his t-shirt quite thoroughly, then when she was down to snuffling, he kind of waltzed her over to the room's table and a box of tissues. Plucking out a couple, he held them to her nose. "Blow," he instructed, then tossed those tissues and mopped her face with more.  "Better?" he asked tenderly. Ella nodded.

"It's just been so hideous. And having to do the press, answering questions. And..."

"What, Bella?"

"Kevin's divorce." She straightened up to look at him. "They must have been in love once, seeing the rest of their lives in front of them. Children, a life together. How do we know we won't end up like them? We're not in the most stable profession."

Ah, this was the real core of her upset. He resettled her in his arms, encouraging her to rest her head on his shoulder, her hands resting on his hips. "Well, not everybody is in love when they marry, sometimes people have to get married," he pointed out. "I know sometimes that people change, and I can't make any guarantees, Bella. But consider that we've been through hell already, Ella. I think that if we can emerge from everything that has happened, that we did, we have a pretty good chance of making it until death do us part. And fundamentally, we come from good homes, similar backgrounds and expectations." He paused to consider. "Now that I've gotten over myself, I want to be the kind of man my dad is. He would never cheat on my mom, their love has just grown stronger over time. They pay attention to each other, talk through problems. They argue, they fight, but it doesn't get nasty, they work through their problems. I don't think that love is always enough, Bella, you have to care for it and nurture it if you want it to last. And I do. I want to marry you, have kids together, have family adventures, stay grounded, go through life together, enjoy our grandchildren. I will do everything I can to get all that. I can promise you that I'll always work on our partnership, our marriage. I want to be the best man I can be, for you, for me, for our future."