Staring
Napaawang ang labi ko sa sinabi ni Selene. I felt my heart stopped beating and the whole world just stopped revolving.
Ilang segundo akong ganun bago ako bumalik sa kasalukuyan at tila umayos na ulit ang lahat. Pero ang puso kong kanina ay tila hindi na pumipintig ay naramdaman kong bumilis naman ang tibok na tila may mga humahabol rito.
I slightly heaved a deep breath before looking back at Selene. Simpleng nakatingin lang siya sa akin habang kagat-kagat ang kanyang ibabang labi at bahagyang nakakunot ang noo, marahil ay nagtataka sa inaakto ko.
She always do this before. Cooking and baking something for me, almost everytime. It stopped when I avoided her, I didn't told her to stop but she noticed the signals that I gave so she stopped too.
Wow... she baked for me after two years? This feels so... surreal.
I bit the sides of my cheeks and slightly chuckled to hide that I was flustered. Ngumuso ako at prenteng ngumisi na lang at tumango.
"You baked this for me?" I said and gave her a once-over.
Ngumiti naman siya at tumango saka kinuha ang lunch box sa desk ko at nilagay na ulit sa paper bag.
"Why?" I asked, still gazing at her. Sumandal ako sa aking upuan at pinasadahan siya lalo ng tingin.
I'm being overwhelmed. Hindi ako makapaniwala na gagawin niya ulit 'to. Ako naman ang may kasalanan kung bakit nahinto dati pero hindi ko akalaing mangyayari ulit 'to.
"Well, I used to bake for you, I just thought earlier to why not bake for you again?" She gave me a half-smile and her hazel eyes gleamed with an unknown emotion.
I bit my lower lip and slowly nodded as my smile slowly faded. My forehead puckered for a little bit. Well, yeah, you used to, Selene.
I felt a pinch on my heart. These are really the times where I'm feeling like my feelings are nothing but a hindrance to the both of us. Because what if I'm not inlove with her? Maybe she would still bake and cook for me like this everyday and I wouldn't even mind because my heart would not skip like a million times faster whenever she's near.
Maybe my heart wouldn't be so scared that she's just doing those because she treats me like a sister even if that's really the truth.
Maybe I would not feel so awkward and disgusted on calling her 'Ate'. Maybe I didn't have to go through the years of hiding my real feelings and feeling pain because I know I could not have her.
"And we haven't got to eat at my favorite fast food yesterday so I'm making up for it." Her mouth curved into an angel-like smile and she giggled cutely. She's still fixing the utensils that I used inside the paper bag.
Lumambot ang mga mata ko habang tinitingnan siya. Nag-igting ang aking bagang dahil sa mga naiisip. I really wanna have her. I really do, but why is it so hard?
"Hmm..." I just hummed quietly, signaling that I was listening because I couldn't find a word to say right now. I'm just feeling so... weak.
Tila napansin niya naman ang pagtahimik ko ng sobra kaya lumingon siya sa akin kaya naman nagtaas agad ako sa kanya ng kilay at pekeng ngumisi.
Her brows snapped together as she examined my face. Hindi ko maiwasang mapalunok dahil tila gusto niyang halukayin ang buong pagkatao ko sa pagtitig niya.
"Why? Is there a problem, Blair?" She softly asked and her eyes screamed innocence and worriness.
"None." Iling ko naman agad para itanggi ang nararamdaman.
