This is the final chapter of the second installment of the When Series, 'When Will It Be Right?'. Thank you for witnessing the whole process of Blair's point of view. Next is the Epilogue.
Certain
Selene parked her car outside a regular building. Sumulyap ako sa labas at saka bahagyang napalunok.
"Blair... are you sure already? We can still back out if you want." Narinig ko ang malamyos na boses ni Selene.
I turn my head to the driver's seat to face her. There's sincerity and pure concern in her hazel eyes.
"Should I back out?" Pinilit kong patatagin ang boses ko habang marahan siyang tinititigan pabalik.
She smiled slightly. She took her right hand off the steering wheel and put it on my left thigh to caress it gently. "Honestly, I'm happy that you finally want to do this, Blair, but of course... I don't want to push you if you are still not ready."
I narrowed my eyes to look at her more deeply. I licked my lips and closed my eyes to see if I really wanted to do this now.
Ramdam ko lang ang malambot na mga titig sa akin ni Selene habang nakapikit pa rin ako at malalim na nag-iisip. Ilang araw ko nang pinag-isipan 'to—mahigit isang linggo na yata—at sa huli ay napagdesisyunan kong gusto ko nang gawin ito. Kailangan ko nang gawin ito.
For myself. For Selene. I need to let go of my final fear now. I need to take this final step to finally move forward and move on.
Pero iba pa rin pala kapag nandito ka na talaga. Kapag malapit ka na at kayang kaya mo na lang lakarin at abutin ang gusto mong gawin. Nakakatakot pa rin pala. Sobra.
Kasi baka... hindi mo magawa. Hindi ka magtagumpay. Baka magkamali ka na naman.
Pero kung hindi ko gagawin 'to... paano na lang kung may mas dumating pa na mas malaking problema? Edi magdadagdag lang ang lahat-lahat hanggang sa hindi ko na talaga kayanin?
Kailangan kong kayanin. Gusto kong kayanin. Ayaw ko nang matakot at mangamba. Gusto kong sa susunod... kaya ko na. I need to do this now.
I softly opened my eyes, and my heart throbbed badly as I met the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen in my whole life. I felt satisfying shivers down my spine as I saw the reason why I wanted to overcome all of my suffering and trauma. I felt sudden bravery occupy me as I stared at the love of my life.
I smiled at Selene. "I'm ready now."
Her eyes twinkled in happiness when she heard what I said. Kumurap siya at agad na tumango. Then she pursed her lips again, like she just wanted to calm down. Parang excited at masaya siya pero gusto niya lang na maging kalmado at mahinahon para hindi ako ma-overwhelm.
"Okay, baby. I'm happy for you." She bit her lower lip and looked at me again. Bumaba ang kanyang mga mata sa aking labi at saka muling huminga ng malalim at nangingiti.
I sighed deeply and chuckled lowly. "Come here, kiss me."
Her eyes widened, and I saw an immediate pink tinge on her cheeks. She realized that I knew what she wanted to do to me right now.
Lumawak ang ngiti ko nang tanggalin niya na ang kanyang seatbelt at dumukwang na palapit sa akin para sakupin ang aking labi.
Marahan ang aming mga halik at nakakahalina. Her right hand is cupping my left cheek while my hands are on her waist to support her weight and balance.
"I'm so proud of you, Blair. Always am. Always have been." She whispered between our soft and passionate kisses.
I nodded and smiled more. Umangat ang kamay ko sa kanyang likod at hinimas 'yon dahilan para magpakawala siya ng mahinang himig sa kanyang labi.
