Love
My eyes is just focused on Selene as she said those words. Is she... is she being serious?!
"Huh? You... are single?" I muttered, still shock by the revelation.
Tila lalo lang siyang nairita sa akin. She whispered some words that I couldn't even comprehend because my mind is still stuck by what she just said.
Marahan niyang tinulak ang aking balikat sa pagkainis at uupo na sana ulit ng maayos pero hindi ko siya hinayaan. I tightened my grip on her waist and furrowed my brows more.
She's now... single? She doesn't have a boyfriend anymore, for three months already! And I'm fucking clueless about it?! What the fuck?
"You're so annoying." She uttered while glaring at me. Pero hindi na siya nag-try ulit na makawala sa pagkakahawak ko, bagkus ay pinulupot niya pa ang isang braso sa leeg ko.
"Fucking hell..." I shut my eyes and cussed. Sobrang iwas yata ang ginawa ko at hindi ko man lang nalaman na wala na pala sila ng boyfriend niya.
At bakit walang nagsabi sa akin?! Mga wala rin ba silang alam lahat? Even Ate Dashiell, why didn't she tell me?! Nakakasama ko siya tuwing may dinner ang mga Jimenez sa bahay nila!
Bumuntong-hininga ako at dumilat na saka muling tumingin sa kanya. Naabutan ko ang magkasalubong pa ring mga kilay niya pero may nagbabadyang ngiti sa kanyang labi dahil nakaangat ang gilid nito.
She looks like she's mad and amused of me at the same time.
I unconciously licked my lower lip and asked. "When did you two..." I stopped my tracks when I thought that maybe she'll feel uncomfortable to talk about it.
Because kung three months na nga silang break ay... fuck, did they broke up the same day she went to my room to tutor me?
Umawang ang labi niya at tila nabigla sa sinabi ko pero agad ding nakabawi. She nodded for a bit and smiled slightly.
"I... I broke up with him the same day after we talked." Mahina niyang saad at tila kinakabahan sa reaksyon ko pero pinapanatiling matatag ang ekspresyon.
Gusto kong magtanong kung bakit pero parang naputol ang dila ko dahil hindi ako makapagsalita.
"I realized... I realized that I've been scared for too long. Of what can happen to us. I realized that I can't push back my feelings all the time and keep on putting my attention on others when all I want is to stare at you and be with you like this, Blair." Mahaba niyang litanya habang malambot at magaan ang mga matang tinititigan ako. Napapaiwas ako ng tingin dahil sa init ng mga titig niya pero hinuhuli niya lang agad ang mga mata ko.
My heart beats faster than its usual pace. It seems like it wants to get out of my chest and just give itself to Selene.
"And Charles is a good man... he loves me so much, Blair. And I can't keep hurting him like that. He doesn't deserve that. He doesn't deserve me, he deserves someone better. Someone that could love him truly and not someone like me... who could only love him because I want to love him and not because I'm really... in love with him." She blinked and a lone tear fall from her right eye again.
Marahan akong napatango na tila naiintindihan ko siya even though I didn't agree on the part that she says that the guy deserves someone better, well yeah, but Selene is the best! Who else could be better than her?!
Napalunok naman ako at sumikip na naman ang dibdib ko nang makita ang pagtulo ng luha niya. Dahil nakakapit ako sa kanya ay hindi ko pwedeng ialis ang kamay ko dahil baka subukan na naman niyang umalis sa pagkakahawak ko.
