Too Much (Sequel to Baby Pogue) // JJ Maybank

7. talk

JJ walked back into Avie's bedroom after laying River down on the couch. JJ knew how her panic attacks went. She would be exhausted after considering how much energy they drained from her.

The two stared at each other for a moment, either one not knowing what to say or where to start.

"W-what do you want to talk to me about?" Avie broke the silence with a nervous voice. She was oblivious to what JJ had to say. She was nervous that it would be something bad; that he found someone else, that he doesn't want to co-parent anymore, that he wants to take Rivvy away, that he was pissed at her for calling Ashton instead of him. Every possibility ran through her mind.

"Just-" JJ didn't know where to begin. He had so much to say but not enough words leaving his mouth, "Can we sit?"

"JJ-"

"Avie, please. Just let me in." He shook his head, "Why are you pushing me out? What did I do?"

Her eyebrows furrowed, "Should I remind you that you slept with another girl five days after we broke up?"

"Avie." JJ sighed, "I don't wanna fight tonight."

"You and I both know it's not a good idea for you to sit here." Avie gestured to her bed behind them while she cradled Skye in one arm. She was thankful he was still small enough to hold with one arm.

"Okay.." He looked down and ran a hand through his hair, "Then let me just speak."

"Fine. Go."

He rolled his eyes at her attitude before beginning, "I just want to know why you think you don't ever need help. I mean for fucks sake, Avie, you almost didn't call me tonight."

Avie could see the concern in his eyes as he spoke to her, not breaking eye contact as he intended to get his point across. She stayed quiet for a moment as she took in his words, thinking about how to respond to them.

"Avie, we all see it. Even Ashton can see it. Even your dad asked me the other day!" JJ continued to stare into her eyes but she looked down, "You block everyone out when we want to freakin' help. I'm his dad and I've seen him enough times to only count on one hand!"

"That's because you don't come over." She ignored all his other words as she looked at him.

"Avie." He titled his head.

She let out a breath and bit her lip, looking down again as she thought about her next words, "I.." Her voice was weaker than before, "I'm still hurting." She admitted.

JJ stared at her and gulped, not wanting to hear what was going to come out next. He didn't want to be reminded of what he did. Despite how she started everything, the guilt he had for laying his hands on another girl was heavier than how she hurt him.

"I can't forget how you looked that night." Avie spoke softly without picking up her head, "I can't forget how you didn't feel sorry at first. I can't forget the feeling in my stomach when I pieced it together. I can't forget how it felt when you tried to touch me afterwards. I can't forget how I could smell her fucking lip balm when you were close to me."

JJ winced at her words as he was reminded of the events of that night.

"I went out! Okay!? That's all you need to know. It's for the better." He tried to shoo her off as he walked away but the sound of her voice sent a ping to his heart.

"You didn't.." She stared at him.

JJ froze as he realized that she was coming to the realization of what he did.

"JJ, tell me you didn't." She shook her head slowly as she watched the back of his, tears threatening her eyes.

"You didn't need to know." He stated without looking at her, his voice was calm for if he tried to speak up he knew he would crack. He already felt guilty and knowing that the woman he loved knew made the weight on his chest intensely heavier.