Lost Soul (GxG) [Completed]

Chapter 39

Claire's POV

I wonder, how often do we blame the conversations that went wrong for losing the right persons?

A lot has changed since then.

This woman beside me right now, is no longer the woman I once loved. She's a completely different person now.

Isang tingin ko lang ay alam ko na agad na madami nang nagbago sa kanya. I mean, I can't blame her. It's been 6 years na din naman.

She looks nervous right now.

I'm just waiting for her to start this conversation.

"A-are you mad?" Nakayukong tanong niya.

"Not really. So what do you want to talk about this time?"

"About that...I...I just wanna apologize for what I did to you in the past. I always think about it, every night I can't fall asleep. The more I went through with all the memories, the more I am convinced how jerk I was back then. I didn't mean to hurt you like that."

Napatawa ako ng pagak dahil sa sinabi niya na naging sanhi upang lumingon siya sa direksyon ko. "Yeah. You broke me. You and I know it. But even after that, you know na hindi ko kayang magalit sayo. Matagal na kitang napatawad. And besides, it's all in the past now, right? So forget about it." I gave her a small yet genuine smile after saying that.

I meant it. Pinatawad ko na siya dati kahit hindi siya nag-sorry.

And as much as possible, I want to avoid having an argument with her right now.

Wait what's with that look?

Para siyang hindi makapaniwala sa sagot ko at nasasaktan at the same time. But why?

"Bakit ba madali lang para sa'yo na tanggapin na hindi talaga tayo para sa isa't isa?!"

I was taken aback because of the sudden change in her tone.

What?

Did she really think that it was easy for me?

"Really, Lynn? You think na ganun lang kadali para sa'kin yun? You have no idea what I've been through in order to accept the reality." May diin ang bawat salitang binitawan ko sa kanya then I saw how guilt slowly filled her eyes.

She has no idea how many times I've lost myself in the process of accepting what's already done.

Gabi-gabi kong pinilit kumbinsihin ang sarili ko na magiging okay din ang lahat.

Ilang beses kong pinaasa ang sarili ko sa isiping magbabago ang isip niya at babalik sa'kin.

Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses kong kinumbinsi ang sarili ko na okay lang ako.

Hinintay ko siya. I never chased her but I waited.

But then nalaman kong nililigawan na siya ni Sophie.

Dun ko lang napagtanto na hindi na siya kailanman babalik.

After that, I've worked so hard to get over her.

I kept myself busy at school para lang hindi siya maalala.

I've met a lot of different people there at London and I've tried flirting with them but none worked out.