Love Grows Where His Camila Goes

13

13

Camila's POV

Even though I was still grieving, we called a funeral home to arrange for Gavin's burial. Little did I know that it was going to be up to me to find a way to whisk him away from the hospital. In addition, Gavin's parents were compelled to handle his death certificate.

Certificate of demise. The words themselves hurt like hell to be listened to. I did not know a death certificate; all I knew was a diploma. Ang alam kong ibibigay kong bulaklak sa kaniya ay yung ibibigay kong crocheted flower na ako mismo ang gagawa para sa anniversary naming dalawa, hindi yung puting bulaklak na ibibigay ko sa kaniya sa mismong libing niya.

I mended the pane of glass as I proceeded gently over to his coffin. I broke down, overwhelmed by emotion, at seeing the look of his serene expression. Crying out hysterically, I collapsed down on my knees and sobbed uncontrollably 'till my voice broke. Pressing my palm against the window, I looked down at it. Gazing upon Gavin inside his white coffin, appearing incredibly at ease, my lips began to tremble once more. I yearn for a moment wherein I have the opportunity to feel his kiss for the last time.

I wanted to speak, but I was unable to produce even a single syllable from my mouth. Nanatili ang tingin ko sa kaniya na payapa nang nakahiga sa kabaong na nasa aking harapan. He looked too cold. He was so cold when I held him for the last time. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala, hindi ko siya kayang tignan pero kailangan. Ayaw kong makalimutan yung mukha niya. Ayaw kong makalimutan yung boses niya. Ayaw ko siyang mawala sa paningin ko. Gusto ko nandito lang siya.

I had been staring at the white casket for such a long time that I failed to notice the tears that were streaming down my cheeks.

Even though he is no longer alive, he fought to the very end. "I want you to know how much I am proud of you. Hindi man ganito yung inaasahan ko pero, I am glad, you finally got your rest after fighting a hard battle."

"Nakikiramay po kami,"

"Condolences to your family,"

Napatingin ako sa ilang nagsalita. Hindi ko sila mamukhaan, hindi ko rin sila kilala. Siguro kaibigan sila ng mga magulang ni Gavin. Once more, my thoughts were very unclear. The same goes for me; I was too perplexed to speak. I simply could not approach all of them. Every single one of my classmates, our fellow students, our friends, and our professors were all present at the moment. In addition, all of his other band members were present.

They were all struggling to fully understand what was currently taking place. There was not a single piece of information that they had on Gavin's medical condition. Even after the entire time, it remained hidden.

But suddenly, his death burst out in all social medias. Agad na lumipad ang balita tungkol sa pagkamatay ni Gavin sa sakit. It was said on the article that it was Gavin's condition since he was still a baby. Since he was still a baby, pero kung kailan malala na, doon ko lang nalaman.

"With his weak body, it was already impossible for him to survive anymore," said someone.

When I started began to cry once more, I covered my mouth in an attempt to prevent myself from sobbing. Sobrang bigat sa dibdib ng lahat ng nangyayari. By that point, I had become unable to deal with it any longer. This turned out to be the very first time that I expressed that my body could no longer deal with it. Nakakaubos pala kapag nawalan ka. Pakiramdam ko, hindi lang sa sakit sumuko si Gavin, pati na rin sa akin, sa mga pangarap niya, sa mga pangarap naming dalawa.

This was the very first time that both of us had given up. Pero siya, habambuhay na yung pagsuko niya. Eh, ako, may pag-asa pa ako, siya wala. Dati, palagi naming kinakaya ang lahat nang magkasama, pero hindi ito. Sa pagkakataong 'to, kailangang kayanin ko 'to nang wala siya sa tabi ko. Pero, makakaya ko nga ba kaya kung wala na siya sa tabi ko? Hindi.