Love Grows Where His Camila Goes

38

38

Camila’s POV

When I woke up, I felt like my head was being hammered for a thousand times. Masakit ang ulo ko, at hindi ko agad nagawang makatayo nang dahil doon. Kinamot ko pa muna ang mga mata ko, bago idilat ito nang todo para malinaw na makita ang paligid ko.

Nakahiga pa rin ako, mag–isa na sa oras na ito. Nang tignan ko ang paligid ay hindi ko na mahagilap si Sevann. Napahawak ako sa aking ulo para isipin kung ano ba yung nangyari kagabi. Hilong–hilo ako, masakit ang ulo at hindi man lang makaalala nang kahit anong nangyari kagabi.

Napasinghap ako, at napabangon bigla sa aking kinahihigaan nang tumama ang tingin ko sa pakalat–kalat kong mga damit. Napababa naman bigla ang tingin ko sa sarili, at umawang ang labi nang makitang kumot na lamang ang nakatakip sa aking katawan.

Umaawang–awang ang labi ko, walang salitang namutawi mula roon. “What...” bulong ko, hindi makapaniwala.

Napapikit ako nang ilang segundo, bago huminga nang malalim. Humigpit ang kapit ko sa kumot bago napapairap na humigang muli sa kama. Dumapa ako at tinakpan ang aking ulo gamit ang mga unan.

Wala naman na akong magagawa kun’di ang tanggaping wala na ang virginity ko!

Napangiwi ako, bago tumingin sa kisame. Lumalim ang pag–iisip ko, at hindi na malaman ang gagawin pagkatapos nang nangyaring ito. Natulala ako habang inaalala ang mga pinaggagawa ko kagabi.

“Pucha ka talaga, Camila. Matino ka pa ba?” mahinang bulong ko sa sarili. Napasinghap ako. “Ano bang pinagagawa mo sa buhay mo. Nakakahiya...”

Awtomatiko akong tumingin sa pintuan nang magbukas ito. Agad naman akong nagbalot sa aking sarili, isinama ko pa ang aking mukha dahil alam kong nakatingin na sa akin nang seryoso si Sevann.

“I brought you a breakfast,” He said, sounded so serious. I nodded, a little bit as a response to his statement. “Eat this, and here is a pill.”

Naitanggal ko ang harang na kumot sa aking mukha. Napatingin ako sa pagkaing naroon sa tray, kasama na ang sinasabi niyang pill. Nangunot ang noo ko roon, bahagya pang napapailing.

I don't take pills...

“I used a protection last night. But, I don’t trust it,” He seriously stated. He massaged the bridge of his nose. “You should take that so we couldn’t receive an outcome of what just happened.” 

I just nodded, and sighed so heavily. “O-okay...” I muttered and nod. “I am really sorry.” I apologizes. I do not have a guts to face him today. I really felt bad, and disgusted to my self.

“Sorry for what, love?” His voice became soft when he replied to me. My eyes are bloodshot so I had to cover my face with the comforter that I was holding since earlier.

I sighed heavily, trying to stifle a sob. “For what I just did last night...” I said to him, making my voice barely audible.

Naramdaman ko ang pag–upo niya sa kama nang medyo lumubog ito. Narinig ko ang mahinang pagbuntong–hininga niya nang makaupo.

“No, that was my fault,” He assumed the sin. ”I took your virginity... without a permission.” I could feel how guilty he was by listening to his voice.

Umiling ako sa kaniya. “But, I knew what I did last night. I was approached by my own temptation.”

Naramdaman ko ang paghawak niya sa kamay ko, sinusubukan niyang tanggalin ang kumot na nakatakip pa rin sa aking mukha. Napailing ako, at pinangiliran ng luha nang tuluyan niyang maalis ang kumot na nakatakip sa akin.

Umawang ang labi niya nang makita ang mukha ko. I stifle a sob. “And, you were drunk as well...” I said. 

He caressed my face. “Yeah, I was drunk a little bit. But, as a man, I shouldn’t took the chance, right?” He said, his eyes tells it all. He messed his hair up. “I should have atleast respected you.”

I smiled. “Eh, nangyari na. Ano pa bang magagawa natin?” Mahina akong nagawa habang napapailing sa kaniya. His lips parted, but he immediately shook his head. I was trying to chill, and lower the hot temperature on the atmosphere.

“Was that okay to you?” He sounded so hesitant. He looked at me with full of curiosity, hesitation, and guilt.

I nodded. “I was the one who let you, right? So, obviously, I was in favor of something.”

He let out a small chuckle. “I was tempted too.” He stated, scratching his head.

After that, he left the room because I am going to change my clothes. He gave me some clothes earlier, together with the breakfast and a pill.

Bumalik lamang siya nang saktong tapos na ako sa pagbibihis. Kumakain na ako ng almusal nang nakabalik siya. Tumabi siya sa akin nang makapasok siya sa kuwarto. Seryoso pa rin ang mukha niya.

“Did they find me?” I asked Sevann after eating a fried rice. I was referring to Denise and my band mates.

He nodded. “Yeah. I told them that you are still here,” He stated. “They didn't ask after that.” He added because he noticed that I was still looking for a complete answer.

I nodded, and sighed. “Have you eaten?” I asked when I turned my gaze at him. He shook his head as an answer to my question.

I extended my hand after I spoon a fried rice. “Do you want?” I asked, innocently.

He shook his head again. “I don’t eat mouth to mouth," My lips parted in shock and immediately ate the fried rice on my spoon.

I just nod after that. I did not talk so the silence was too loud between us. I am done eating when he gave me the pill. I looked at it, and took it from him. I sighed, before drinking the pill.

He stood up, and started carrying the tray, together with the plate and milk. I did not talk or even move when he kissed me on my cheeks. He bid a good bye because he was leaving the room to return the tray.

When I no longer hears those foot steps, I immediately spit the pill out of my mouth. Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit kailangan ko pang uminom no’n kung gumamit naman pala siya. At, sigurado naman akong hindi rin ako hiyang sa pills kaya hindi ko alam kung anong puwedeng maging epekto sa akin niyan.

I threw the pill out of the window when I stood up. I sighed so heavily, and sat on the chair when I felt dizzy. I watched the trees danced with the wind. It made me calm for a short period of time.

&.&