Love Grows Where His Camila Goes

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Camila’s POV

I came home tiredly. I could feel my veins and body were all numbed. I couldn't feel anything but emptiness, that was the very first and last feeling I would feel.

Matapos akong ihatid ni Reid ay agad na rin siyang umalis nang makapasok. Nagsabi pa siya na baka raw matagalan ang pagbalik niya ng kotse at tango lang din naman ulit ang natanggap niyang tugon mula sa akin.

Pakiramdam ko ay natutuyo na ang mga laway ko dahil sa hindi ko pagsasalita sa buong byahe namin ni Reid. Nanatili lang akong tahimik, siya naman ay patuloy sa pagkukuwento hanggang sa makarating kami sa bahay at doon siya natigil sa pagsasalita.

Agad namang sumalubong sa pagdating ko ang masamang tingin sa akin ni Mama, tila nagtatakha sa pagdating ko at nagdududa pa siya sa akin. Hinabol niya pa ng tingin ang kotseng sinasakyan ni Reid. Kumunot ang noo ko bigla nang dahil sa reaksyon ng mukha niya.

“Sino ‘yon? Lalaki mo?” seryosong anang niya. “Wala pang ilang taon nang mamatay si Gavin, Camila. Huwag ka na muna sanang lumalandi nang gan’yan.”

Agad niya akong tinalikuran habang napapailing matapos sambitin ang mga salitang iyon. Umawang ang labi ko, napatulala saglit habang pilit na prinoproseso ng utak ko ang sinabi niya.

Hinabol ko siya nang may nagtatakang tingin. Dere–deretso lamang siyang nagpunta papunta sa kusina, sumunod naman ako habang nagtitimpi sa kaniya. Pinipilit ko ring ikalma ang sarili ko.

“What did you just say, Ma? Lumalandi? Ako? I am not!” mariing saad ko nang makarating kaming dalawa sa kusina.

She raised her brows at me. “Nakakahiya sa Tita Cherry mo kung malalaman niyang may bago ka na. Tiyak na iisipin n’on ay mabilis ang naging paglimot mo sa anak niya. Pero, siguro nga ay hindi mo talaga minahal si Gavin.”

My lips parted in shock. “You had witnessed how I lost my self because of him! You had witnessed how drowned I was when he left me! And, now, you are saying that words?!” I exclaimed in disbelief.

I couldn’t take that.

“Oh, God! Camila! The way you spoke...” She cut her words, she looked at me with full of confusion. “Do you have a lover now?”

Nanginginig ang labi ko, at napababa ang tingin nang tanungin niya ang bagay na iyon. Bumilis ang naging paghinga ko, at nararamdaman ko ang bahagyang pagkahilo.

“You have?” Mama asked when I did not respond. “Camila, answer me. Do you have a lover now?” She asked for a second time.

I nodded and smiled bitterly. “I have a boyfriend, Ma. We are together for almost one and a half year.” I stated, not even denying my relationship with Sevann.

My lips parted in shock when my mother’s palm reached my cheek. She just... slapped her daughter. I could feel how my face got red when she did that. I was hurt by her again. My eyes are immediately got bloodshot when she did that thing.

She grabbed my arm. “Have some respect to your late boyfriend!”

Agad kong inagaw ang braso ko nang tumulo ang mga luha ko. Napasinghap ako. “Tama na, Ma! There is nothing wrong with that! Ayoko na ulit lunurin ang sarili ko sa lungkot nang dahil sa pagkawala niya! Iyon naman ang gusto mo hindi ba?! ‘Yung hindi ko mahalin si Gavin!”

“Don’t shout at your mother, Camila!” She shouted at me back. “Another heartbreak! You are making your own another heartbreak, Camila!”

I bit my lower lip, trying to hold back my gushing tears. I swallowed looking at her, crying. She shouted again. “You have grown as a disrespectful woman!” She was about to slap me for a second time when I shouted in tears.

“Ma! Buntis ako!” I shouted, and she immediately stopped her hand.

She gritted her teeth. “What?” She unbelievably said.

“Buntis po ako...” I cried when she looked at me with full of confusion.

“Sinong ama?” mahinahong aniya, alam ko kung gaano siyang nagpapahaba ng pasens'ya. Hindi ako sumagot kaya sumigaw na siya sa pangalawang beses. “Camila! Who is the father of that fetus!” She shouted, it was so loud.

It almost broke my ear drums. It could make me back to my senses, but hearing her statement has no sense at all.

“Sevann... is the father,” I cried while saying those words. “My boyfriend is the father, Mama.”

Napasinghap siya. “Jesus!” She exclaimed while clenching her fists. “You two did that... thing?!” She shouted at me, her eyes were widened.

Umiiyak akong tumango. “For Pete’s sake, Camila! Wala ka pang alam sa mga gano’n!”

I shook my head, immediately. “I studied sciences, Mama! Why wouldn’t I?!” I exclaimed as well. Agad akong hiningal nang makipagsigawan ako pabalik kay Mama.

Hindi makapaniwalang napailing siya. “No, Camila,” She denied. “Did he rape you?! Tell me. Did he force you to do that thing with you, Camila?!”

Agad akong napakunot ng aking mga noo nang dahil sa sinabi niya. Natatawang napailing ako sa kaniya. “Of course not! He couldn't do such things like that, Mama!”

Napasinghap siya sa akin, magkasalubong ang dalawa niyang kilay habang nakatingin sa akin nang masama at seryoso. Hindi pa rin siya makapaniwala habang nakatingin sa akin. Mas lalong bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko matapos kong marinig ang mga sinabi niya.

How could Mama think like this? She is so crazy!

She sighed so heavily. She looked so mad while looking at me. “I will file a case. He shouldn't do that thing! You are too innocent for that!”

“Nababaliw ka na ba, Ma?! I am an adult! I already graduated college! Stop making me feel like I am still a kid! I am no longer your baby!” sumigaw ako sa kaniya, umiinit na ang dugo ko. “Don’t jump into conclusions without proper evidences! Sevann would never do that false informations!”

She glared at me, her eyes were bloodshot as well. “Stop meeting that guy,” She commanded with full of authority. “He will never be worthy of your sacrifices, your life, and your love.”

Naluluha akong napapailing habang nakatingin kay Mama, nagmamakaawa.

“Ma, don’t do that, please...” I pleaded and held her in her hands. Full of emotions, I looked at her. “Believe in me, Sevann would never do such things.”

She grabbed her hand away from me. She glared at me, making me stunned. “Stop crying for a worthless guy. You are losing your dream. You are wasting your time loving that kind of a guy who does not even respected you.”

Umiling ako. “I was the one who did not take the pill! I was the one who was being stubborn that time! I was the one who let him did that!”

“Stop explaining to me with those reasons, Camila. I am done with all of your bullshits!” She shouted. “Nakakahiya ka.” may diing saad niya at tuluyan na niya akong iniwan sa may kusina.

Nakagat ko ang ibabang labi bago nanghihinang napaupo sa sahig. Patuloy na tumutulo ang mga luha ko habang nakatingin sa kawalan. Bumibigat ang paghinga ko at mas lalong lumalakas ang paghikbi ko habang nakaupo sa sahig.

Kahit anong paliwanag ako ay hindi ko pa rin mapigilan si Mama. Nagiging sarado ang utak niya at ang tanging pagkakaintindi niya lang ang iniisip niya. Hindi ko na maintindihan ang mga rason niya sa kung bakit niya ginagawa ‘to. Noong una naman ay maayos siya, pero ngayon, ibang iba na. Hindi ko na siya mabasa, iba na ang takbo ng utak niya.

Hindi na siya ang iyong mama ko na nakasama ko hanggang sa pagtanda na. Halos hindi ko na siya makilala sa kinikilos niyang iyon.

I had to cover my mouth with my hand so my Yaya would not hear my hard and loud cries. I clenched my fist while it was on my chest. It feels so heavy.

&.&